Wiping the slate
Does pancreatic cancer ever get diagnosed before Stage Four? It seems like there should be more effective tests and earlier detection by now. The news about Rep. John Lewis was exactly the note to round out this appalling year. I remember when John McCain's brain cancer was announced and the supportive messages he got from one-time opponents like Barack Obama. I can picture Obama's successor hearing about Lewis and allowing a grin to suffuse his fat face as he unwrapped a Quarter Pounder, then reached for his unsecured phone to re-tweet another conspiracy theory. A real class act.
He should also take the credit for a sixteen-year high in hate crimes. There has never been a time when it was easy and safe to be a Jew but the Hanukkah violence in and around New York City was particularly shocking. Some gentiles didn't help, like Rachel Campos-Duffy, who decided it was the right moment to tell Fox viewers how oppressed Christians are. Or Ken Cuccinelli, who announced with no evidence that Monsey sword-attack suspect Grafton Thomas was the son of an "illegal alien." Neither mentioned Trump, who invites anti-Semitic preachers to his Hanukkah party and proclaims Holocaust Remembrance Day with no reference to Jews. I'm afraid Bret Stephens's celebration of the allegedly high IQ of the Ashkenazi could not have come at a worse time, but the New York Times abandoned its editorial duties long ago. Maybe it's time for Newsday to resume publishing a city edition.
I'm trying not to make too much of the announcement that a museum of journalism in Washington is closing. Perhaps it's just the silly name, Newseum. And there are so many other museums in that city, with more dignified names. Besides, unless you read five papers as day -- not even an option for most people -- it sounds about as compelling as a library of high school yearbooks.
The US population growth rate is the lowest in a century. The right solution: welcome immigrants who want to work and raise their children here. The wrong solution: more insane laws forcing women and girls to have babies they don't want and can't care for.
Maybe people would be less depressed and suicidal at this darkest (astronomically speaking) time of the year if we weren't assailed with commercials featuring pitiful animals, sick children and damaged veterans. I know, last day to make your contribution and get a tax deduction but give us a break. My mail box is a directory of organizations that do good stuff, my credit cards are wincing. How about a day of amnesty, folks? Nag us again on January 2.
I just remembered something. There used to be a volunteer neighborhood watch in parts of Brooklyn called the Jewish Defense League (later Organization), patterned after the Guardian Angels. At the time I was uncomfortable with this kind of vigilantism, but now it seems like a necessity. Does the JDO still exist?
First Joe Biden said he would ignore a subpoena to testify in the impeachment trial, then he changed his mind. Biden also said he would consider a Republican running mate and I haven't heard that he's come to his senses on that one. How is this befuddled old man the front-runner? What Republican could he be thinking of, Edward Brooke? Jacob Javits? Bad news, Joe...
Rep. Paul Gosar, DDS (it's how he identifies) has close family who don't talk to him much less vote for him, but he's not one to hold a grudge. He decided we all needed to be reminded of the time a light fixture fell near Hillary Clinton and Bill gallantly and heroically pulled her out of the way. At this time of year, it's good to remember the...what? He did? He thought if he played it over and over, the light would crush her skull? (Like horny teenagers who looped the shower scene in Psycho hoping for a glimpse of Janet Leigh's breasts?) Well, that's sick. And Joe? There's a whole party like this guy (he's a dentist...and a success!). Help yourself.
Happy birthday, Barbara Pinkney! The cops kicked in your door, tased you, then arrested you for committing battery on them and obstructing justice. I hope my seventieth birthday is a little less exciting and a little more Fourth Amendment.
I will now continue ignoring Cats, Little Women, and everything to do with Star Wars. Good night and good luck.