Wait, what?
In my seventieth year to heaven, as Dylan would say (that's Thomas, not Bob), I cope with failing faculties and sometimes wonder if I just saw what I think I saw. It doesn't help that the line between reality and surreality, fact and satire, has all but vanished. So I apologize if I'm wrong, but I'm almost certain I just saw a Walmart commercial that references the racist mass murder last August 3 in El Paso, when twenty-two people died for the offense of being Mexican. The killing took place in a Walmart, so maybe that gives them...I don't know. The right to exploit domestic terrorism in the name of commercial holiday sentimentality? "We had to close that store for a week and clean up all the gore. We're going to get something out of it." Are they that cynical? Am I?
The truth, somebody said, will set you free, but it's not necessarily good for your political career. Scott Morrison, the prime minister of Australia, discovered this when he went ahead with his Hawaiian vacation as much of his country was battling wildfires aggravated by extreme heat and years of drought (they call it "The Big Dry"). As Morrison pointed out at a sheepish press conference upon his return, he couldn't be expected to turn a hose on the flames, but that wasn't really what angered people. So now he has a political disaster to go with the environmental one. If you'll accept a suggestion from a foreigner, Prime Minister, don't lie about being somewhere when people have phones and Twitter accounts. There's no hiding place down there. Your smug face already adorns Hawaiian shirts.
People who hated churches depicting caged Nativity figures will lose any shit they have left over Banksy's "Scar of Bethlehem." The British (?) outlaw artist installed it in his Walled Off Hotel, with a bullet hole in place of a star to dramatize the situation of Palestinians in that city and elsewhere. A poll reported last summer in the Sun (pick up a grain of salt as you exit through the gift shop) pronounced Banksy "Brits' favorite painter of all time," which enlists rather a lot of people in the War on Christmas.
Fake rapper Vanilla Ice has plans to build the Donald J. Trump Presidential Library on the site of a trailer park in Palm Beach County which will probably be under water before the century is half over. What part of that sentence doesn't make you smile?
The truth, somebody said, will set you free, but it's not necessarily good for your political career. Scott Morrison, the prime minister of Australia, discovered this when he went ahead with his Hawaiian vacation as much of his country was battling wildfires aggravated by extreme heat and years of drought (they call it "The Big Dry"). As Morrison pointed out at a sheepish press conference upon his return, he couldn't be expected to turn a hose on the flames, but that wasn't really what angered people. So now he has a political disaster to go with the environmental one. If you'll accept a suggestion from a foreigner, Prime Minister, don't lie about being somewhere when people have phones and Twitter accounts. There's no hiding place down there. Your smug face already adorns Hawaiian shirts.
People who hated churches depicting caged Nativity figures will lose any shit they have left over Banksy's "Scar of Bethlehem." The British (?) outlaw artist installed it in his Walled Off Hotel, with a bullet hole in place of a star to dramatize the situation of Palestinians in that city and elsewhere. A poll reported last summer in the Sun (pick up a grain of salt as you exit through the gift shop) pronounced Banksy "Brits' favorite painter of all time," which enlists rather a lot of people in the War on Christmas.
Fake rapper Vanilla Ice has plans to build the Donald J. Trump Presidential Library on the site of a trailer park in Palm Beach County which will probably be under water before the century is half over. What part of that sentence doesn't make you smile?
posted by Buttermilk Sky at 11:02 AM
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