Disappointed
Bad weather, cancelled flight, Aunt Marcy yacketing about how Joe Biden causes earthquakes, turkey so dry they could use it for the Dead Sea Scrolls, not nearly enough liquor in the house -- you think you had a lousy Christmas?
Trump had a whole lousy year, despite being recognized as the Chosen One and playing many rounds of golf which would make Arnold Palmer weep with envy. He failed in his task of getting Russia re-admitted to the G7. (Nobody wants to get that call from Putin: "You had one job!") He found out he can't repeal the Fourteenth Amendment by executive order. He lost a good friend when Hillary murdered Jeffrey Epstein. She also called down rain to ruin his July 4 "Salute To America" festivities. He almost had to see a vessel in his personal Navy called John McCain (it's named for the senator's father, an admiral, but it still would have made him feel bad). He was booed at the World Series. NATO still exists, although he made NAFTA change its name. Another woman accused him of rape, although she's clearly "not my type." Ruth Bader Ginsburg refused to die. A Fox News poll showed half the respondents wanted him impeached. He got impeached. Some Swedish brat was Time's Person of the Year instead of him. Kim Jong-un writes beautiful letters but keeps testing missiles -- he promised. And still no Nobel Peace Prize.
The crowning insult came when he learned that the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation is part of the Deep State. They cut his magnificent cameo performance from the film Home Alone 2: Lost In New York when it was shown on the CBC. They claim to have done this in 2014 to make time for more commercials (I've never seen it but I understand there are many cameos), but Trump knows it was a petty act of spite by Justin Trudeau for "making him pay up on NATO or Trade!") because a year before Trudeau became prime minister, he was working as a petty spite censor at the CBC. You may be young, brilliant and dishy, Justin, but don't even think you can take Trump down when it comes to pettiness and spite. He invented them, eh?
For example, when not whining about Canadian television he tweeted a link to the name of the hated Whistleblower, praised Jon Voight's work in Ray Donovan, signed off on more unqualified bigots that Moscow Mitch found for the federal courts, spread more unhinged conspiracy theories, restored the rank of war criminal/Navy SEAL Edward Gallagher (who may be kicked out anyway because non-criminal SEALs call him "toxic" and "freaking evil"), and admonished "Crazy Nancy" Pelosi to "clean up her filthy dirty District & help the homeless there." A good day's work? No, the greatest day's work in history.
And what does the future hold? Maybe more impeachments. More broken promises from that "very smart cookie" Kim Jong-un. More stupid mean leaders laughing about him. That State of the Union thing he has to read while standing up for a really long time in front of all those traitors. Not nearly enough Hatesapalooza campaign events to soothe his perpetual sense of emptiness and victimhood. Why do we need elections anyway? What exactly is this "constitution" they keep talking about? Why can't the best president of all time find a lawyer, one lawyer, who remembers to zip his fly?
You heard the lady. Fasten your seatbelts. The night's about to get even bumpier.
Trump had a whole lousy year, despite being recognized as the Chosen One and playing many rounds of golf which would make Arnold Palmer weep with envy. He failed in his task of getting Russia re-admitted to the G7. (Nobody wants to get that call from Putin: "You had one job!") He found out he can't repeal the Fourteenth Amendment by executive order. He lost a good friend when Hillary murdered Jeffrey Epstein. She also called down rain to ruin his July 4 "Salute To America" festivities. He almost had to see a vessel in his personal Navy called John McCain (it's named for the senator's father, an admiral, but it still would have made him feel bad). He was booed at the World Series. NATO still exists, although he made NAFTA change its name. Another woman accused him of rape, although she's clearly "not my type." Ruth Bader Ginsburg refused to die. A Fox News poll showed half the respondents wanted him impeached. He got impeached. Some Swedish brat was Time's Person of the Year instead of him. Kim Jong-un writes beautiful letters but keeps testing missiles -- he promised. And still no Nobel Peace Prize.
The crowning insult came when he learned that the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation is part of the Deep State. They cut his magnificent cameo performance from the film Home Alone 2: Lost In New York when it was shown on the CBC. They claim to have done this in 2014 to make time for more commercials (I've never seen it but I understand there are many cameos), but Trump knows it was a petty act of spite by Justin Trudeau for "making him pay up on NATO or Trade!") because a year before Trudeau became prime minister, he was working as a petty spite censor at the CBC. You may be young, brilliant and dishy, Justin, but don't even think you can take Trump down when it comes to pettiness and spite. He invented them, eh?
For example, when not whining about Canadian television he tweeted a link to the name of the hated Whistleblower, praised Jon Voight's work in Ray Donovan, signed off on more unqualified bigots that Moscow Mitch found for the federal courts, spread more unhinged conspiracy theories, restored the rank of war criminal/Navy SEAL Edward Gallagher (who may be kicked out anyway because non-criminal SEALs call him "toxic" and "freaking evil"), and admonished "Crazy Nancy" Pelosi to "clean up her filthy dirty District & help the homeless there." A good day's work? No, the greatest day's work in history.
And what does the future hold? Maybe more impeachments. More broken promises from that "very smart cookie" Kim Jong-un. More stupid mean leaders laughing about him. That State of the Union thing he has to read while standing up for a really long time in front of all those traitors. Not nearly enough Hatesapalooza campaign events to soothe his perpetual sense of emptiness and victimhood. Why do we need elections anyway? What exactly is this "constitution" they keep talking about? Why can't the best president of all time find a lawyer, one lawyer, who remembers to zip his fly?
You heard the lady. Fasten your seatbelts. The night's about to get even bumpier.
posted by Buttermilk Sky at 4:39 PM
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