News you can't use

If I didn't read the Guardian, I would never have known about the QC who clubbed a fox to death while hung over and wearing his wife's green kimono.  Of course, they wouldn't have known about it if the idiot hadn't bragged about it on Twitter.  Junior Trump, ball's in your court.

Elsewhere in today's paper, residents of a significant portion of Edinburgh have been told they will have to apply for permission to enter their own homes on New Year's Eve because a private company called Underbelly (in conjunction with Johnnie Walker) is throwing a Hogmanay street festival.  If householders wish to host their own parties, well, that gets complicated.  Aren't you glad you don't live in Times Square?

No, Ruslan Shaveddinov is not another sketchy client of Giuliani's, he's an anti-Putin activist who vanished from his Moscow flat and wound up on an air force base in the Arctic.  The Cheka authorities say he's a draft dodger.

There's a golf course in Florida atop a burial ground for slaves, and Trump doesn't own it.  At the Capital City Country Club in Tallahassee, indentations in the seventh fairway have now been identified as graves (there may be more) and not just obstacles to play.  No one is sure what to do about the site on the old Houstoun plantation.

Jair Bolsonaro fell and hit his head, and says he is having memory problems.  Sure, if that's your story...

Boris Johnson's version of Trump's Tortilla Curtain is a proposal to build a bridge between Scotland and Northern Ireland.  Naturally, according to BloJo, the European Union will pay for it.  When he stopped laughing, the taoiseach said he'd think about it, and also, no, they wouldn't.

I'm just going to quote the opening line:  "A homeless woman gave birth to premature twins while sleeping rough outside Cambridge University's wealthiest college."

That kind of morphed from Monty Python to Edward Bond, didn't it?  Happy New Year unless you live in Edinburgh.