Thursday, September 14, 2023

"I am ready, Chuck"

 I never watch the Sunday morning "news" shows but I'm told they have a lot of influence among people who want to be well-informed without all the trouble of reading a newspaper.  Apparently the flagship is Meet the Press, running since 1947.  There was much rejoicing when Chuck "Both Sides" Todd quit last week, and people thought his replacement, Kristen Welker, would have to be an improvement.  People are often wrong.

Welker and NBC decided her debut this week should make a splash by featuring a pre-taped, carefully staged interview with none other than Donald Trump.  Such a scoop.  Rather than risk enraging the non-demented, completely competent Putsch-plotter, she will ask polite, anodyne questions and the network's army of "fact-checkers" will refute some of his lies afterward, on the website.  Evidently the ground rules were set by Trump, including Welker's trip to Bedminster like any other supplicant.  "I am ready, Chuck, and I just want to say I am so thankful and grateful to you...for entrusting me with this monumental, important role."  So don't expect "both sides."  Viewers will get only one.  Having begun as she presumably means to go on, Welker (or whoever tells her what to do) can score many more interviews with very important Republicans who don't like to be challenged by uppity women.  Or by Chuck Todd, who suddenly looks like I.F. Stone by comparison.

If Meet the Press still involves a panel of reporters -- as I said, I haven't seen it since Lawrence Spivak -- I nominate the anonymous guy who showed up at a press conference in Kennett Square, Pennsylvania, yesterday.  The state police commander was talking about the hunt for a murderer named Cavalcante, who had escaped from prison and been re-captured after two breathlessly reported weeks.  He is quite short, and Jimmy Olson wanted to know, "Was there any concern he would team up with another small man to step inside of a trench coat, 'Little Rascals'-style?"  "No," said Lt. Col. George Bivens, probably thinking "You asshole."  I'm thinking, why isn't this guy reporting from the White House?

It looks like we won't have Romney to kick around anymore.  The junior senator from Utah with the Paul Mitchell-ad hair is disappointed:  "It's pretty clear that the party is inclined to a populist demagogue message," he said sadly, announcing that he won't run again next year.  Oh, Willard, so near and yet so not.  Can't you recognize full-on fascism when you see it?  Have you been standing up too close or back too far?  OK, enjoy retirement and don't tie the dog to the car roof, so long and best wishes from one of the 47 percent.

Investigative journalism?  Isn't that redundant?  No, it's not.  According to the Washington Post Ron DeSantis took "undisclosed" freebies from rich people in 2018, including hotels, eats, private jet travel and the inevitable round of golf at Augusta.  They even know the names of his sugar daddies, real estate developer Mori Hosseini and John Cwik.  Hosseini got $92 million in federal pandemic funding at the governor's discretion.  Believe it or not, Google lists several John Cwiks, so I can't tell which one bribed Puddin' Paws.  Let's act shocked.

I don't know the Italian for "coglioni in a vise" but thanks to Nancy Pelosi, I know the hand gesture.


The former Speaker was explaining the predicament of the present one to Anderson Cooper, who may have winced and crossed his legs a little.  If someone will reproduce this on a shirt, I'll take a dozen.

Hunter Biden got indicted, Joe Biden may be impeached by six o'clock, and Aaron Rodgers hurt his ankle.  Don't expect the network "news" to cover the earthquake in Morocco, the flooding in Libya or Ukraine's successful drone attack on Russia's air defense system in Crimea.  Up yours, Musk.

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