Congress shall make no law

 Happy Labor Day.  How are we doing with our freedoms right now?

Mount Dora, Florida, encourages business owners to display a Rainbow decal on their doors to indicate that LGBTQ customers will find a welcome within.  The program is purely voluntary and sounds like it would be good for the economy.  Not surprisingly, four Republican "lawmakers" are considering "all legislative, legal and executive options" to stop it.  They say they're afraid the haters will boycott businesses and maybe shoot the owners, like Lauri Carleton in Cedar Glen, California.  Florida has your back, haters!  All you have to do is threaten the right people.

First grade teacher Abigail Zwerner was shot by one of her six-year-old students and is suing the Newport News, Virginia, school district for $40 million alleging they knew about the boy's violent proclivities but did nothing to stop him.  The district says she's entitled only to workmen's comp, because when you teach elementary school, the possibility of being shot is just part of the job, like black lung for coal miners.  Even six-year-olds are covered by the Second Amendment, it seems.

Nancy Mace (R-SC) is anti-choice, but she is also a rape survivor and has urged exceptions to anti-choice laws in a few cases.  "I have a fantastic pro-life voting record but I also understand that we cannot be assholes to women," she told CNN.  Soon she will be denounced for her filthy language by the no-exceptions crowd.  It must be hard to be a female Republican.

Speaking of which, Nikki Haley says, "The American people are not going to vote for a convicted felon," a week after saying she would do just that.  Alice was less confused after she followed the rabbit down the hole.

What did Faulkner say about the past?  You may have thought there was general agreement about the subject of eugenics after the "race science" of the Nazis and the forced sterilization of 64,000 Americans.  Didn't Planned Parenthood remove Margaret Sanger's name from its headquarters over her views on the subject?  "A high-end hotel in the liberal Texan enclave of Austin is playing host to a conference whose theme is boosting global birth rates, but which will in fact feature racist and eugenicist internet personalities and far-right media figures," says the Guardian.  The Natal conference -- I assume that's not the South African province, but who knows? -- features a lineup guaranteed to make your flesh creep, including Malcolm and Simone Collins, who warn of the catastrophic drop in (white) birth rates.  It's the Great Replacement garbage in scientific gift wrap.

Wet weather and music festivals are an uneasy mix, which is probably why Wagner insisted that Bayreuth build him an opera house.  Woodstock '94 was nearly washed out.  (It rained during Woodstock '69, too, but it was the Sixties and people were too groovy to care.)  Glastonbury is usually ankle deep in mud.  This year the heavy weather came to the Nevada desert and disrupted Burning Man, which traditionally climaxes with burning an effigy of a man, possibly a tribute to the 1973 movie The Wicker Man.  (Avoid the remake.)  One person has died, rumors of Ebola are not true and thousands are trapped by flooded roads.  High-ticket paganism takes its toll.  For example, the former acting Solicitor General:

 We conclude with a labor-related story.  Last year CPAC staff were quitting because of low pay, so Matt Schlapp brought in a Catholic priest to perform an exorcism of the office.  According to the Daily Beast he threw some holy water around and stuck a medallion over the door to ward off evil spirits.  Now Schlapp and his wife are angry that the story was reported, calling the Beast "Satan's publication to persecute Christians and their families."  Schlapp, whose name is what MAD Magazine used to call "a ferschlugginer sound," ran through the litany of right-wing grievances (Fentanyl, violent crime, etc.) more worthy of reporting, but failed to mention the staffer on the Herschel Walker campaign who accused Schlapp of grabbing his genitals without consent.  The priest was unsuccessful in making his lawsuit go away, even for a "six-figure settlement offer."  Maybe next time just give the employees a raise.