Pandemonium

 

These four men were hunting an alligator in the Yazoo River in Mississippi.  This is what they brought back.  "It was pandemonium.  It was chaos," said one.  It was 14 feet three inches long and weighed 802.5 pounds.  It's dead.   

Meanwhile in Scotland, the Canadian research vessel Deepscan is using all the technological bells and whistles to locate the Loch Ness monster once and for all -- drones, scraping the bottom for DNA, the works.  Question:  How will they know if they strike Nessie DNA?  What is there to compare it with?

Speaking of monsters, Trump's Washington trial -- that's the one for election interference if you don't have your scorecard handy -- is scheduled to begin on March 4.  Naturally he's already, or still, blustering about "a biased, Trump Hating judge," the very thing Judge Tanya Chutkan told him to stop doing.

Samuel Joseph Wurzelbacher has died at 49.  The cause of death is given as pancreatic cancer, but we'll probably hear that he was murdered by George Soros.  Why not?  Everything else about him was as fake as Trump's weight.  As "Joe the Plumber" he tried to keep Barack Obama from being elected in 2008 by attacking his tax policies.  John McCain took him up eagerly, pledging, "Joe, I'll keep your taxes low."  Then it turned out he wasn't a licensed plumber and he owed $1,000 in back taxes.  Two years later he ran unsuccessfully for Congress in Ohio.  Then he faded into obscurity, of no further value to the party that was always a tool of the American oligarchy.  

We all know Ron DeSantis hates schools, libraries, public health measures, Democratic district attorneys and Disney, but did you know about his war on historic buildings?  Last summer he ended the power of municipalities to preserve them and now the villa of Al Capone has been demolished by someone who paid $15 million for it.  (I smell Saudi money.)  I hope they let Geraldo Rivera check out the safe first.

I guess I have to start paying attention to Trump manifestations like the big Tucker Carlson sauna session last Wednesday.  According to Lee Papa (you may know him as the Rude Pundit), it's a hallucinatory experience.  Asked about Gavin Newsom, he began talking about how Kim Jong-un has "massive nuclear power" from which only Trump protected America.  Asked about South America, he launched into a long, confusing discussion of the Panama Canal, pronouncing it one of the nine wonders of the world, or possibly seven.  "In one day they lifted the fees, which are pretty big for these massive ships to go through rather than going around the cape and through all the tremendous storms.  Such beauty.  It's beautiful stuff but you didn't want to get caught in those storms.  Those were storms that wiped out the biggest ships."  "The election was rigged.  It was a rigged election.  And with Covid, they used Covid to cheat in a lot of different things.  We have so much on it.  It's like so easy.  But we had judges that didn't want to look.  We had people, didn't want to get involved."  Joe Biden?  "He can't walk through the sand.  You know, sand is not that easy to walk through.  But when he walks through it, he can't walk through the sand."  It's like listening to Lucky's monologue from Waiting for Godot.