Where to begin?

 I'm sitting in the middle of a Category 1 hurricane which provided a metaphor for the DeSantis campaign by blowing a tree onto the governor's mansion in Tallahassee.  That's not even the weirdest thing to happen today.

How about radioactive wild boars (without friggin' lasers on their heads)?  The Daily Beast -- of course -- says they're running around southern Germany biting and butting people.  Researchers blame nuclear testing.  Not Chernobyl?

Mitch McConnell had another brain freeze when a reporter asked if he was running again in 2026.  It sounds like the correct answer is "no" but Republicans are never considered too old or too damaged.

Last July the former cardinal Theodore McCarrick was indicted for sexually molesting a sixteen-year-old boy in 1974, but a little more than a year later the judge has ruled that McCarrick, 93, cannot stand trial because of dementia.  It's obvious why Trump and other criminals try to delay as long as possible.

Speaking of Inmate P01135809 because we must, he continues to run amok inspiring chaos and violence in others.  Glenn Beck emerged from hiding for an interview and Trump assured him he will definitely "lock people up" if/when restored to power.  "You have no choice because they're doing it to us," he said, displaying his ignorance of the fine distinction between criminality and revenge.  Tucker Carlson has him half-convinced that "they" will assassinate him, so probably he'll have to kill them after he locks them up.  He already has a gushing endorsement from Hungarian fascist Viktor Orban, who told Carlson, "Trump is the man who can save the Western world and probably the human beings in the globe as well."  

Georgia state senator Colton Moore (R-Lobotomy) doesn't want to have to draw his rifle, but that's exactly what he'll do if he can't get the legislature to "defund" the office of the Fulton County district attorney.  'Cause there'll be civil war, with "our constituencies...fighting in the streets."  His colleague Clint Dixon (R-Inbred) wants an investigation of Fani Willis herself on the grounds of uppity-ness.  Sadly, they're getting no joy from their leadership, including the governor.  I guess civil war it is.  Can't wait to see how you "draw" a rifle.

More legal woes for Trump co-defendant Rudolph Giuliani (R-Delirium Tremens):  Since he failed to comply with discovery, Judge Beryl Howell ruled for the plaintiffs in their defamation suit and ordered him to pay $89,172.50 to Ruby Freeman and Shaye Moss.  Don't rush that check to the bank, ladies, unless you want to guess how high it will bounce.  

Another Trump co-conspirator, John Eastman, used to clerk for Clarence Thomas and declares, "His integrity is unimpeachable."  As calls for Thomas's impeachment continue, he may need to seek a testimonial from someone not under criminal indictment.  Viktor Orban maybe.

Racist quote of the day:  "The mugshot has breathed new life into the Trump campaign and broadened his appeal with Black Americans."  A quiet hint, Jesse Watters:  In the Black community as in the white community, people who have mugshots taken are people who tend not to be voters.  But I admire your efforts to bring Fox's prime-time racism back to Tucker Carlson levels.  Halloween is coming -- have you considered doing your show in blackface?