Margaret Thatcher?

 "Giuliani demeaned and sexualized Margaret Thatcher and wondered about the effect she would have on his penis."

It isn't every day you read a sentence like that in a court filing but today isn't every day.  Noelle Dunphy, former "personal assistant" to America's Mayor, is suing him for $10 million, charging sexual abuse and failure to pay her salary, and the startling reference to Baroness Thatcher is not even the warm-up.  Let's say that his performance in Borat Subsequent Moviefilm is an amusing Hitchcock-type cameo by comparison.

Ms. Dunphy was not a wide-eyed intern.  She has a LinkedIn profile describing herself as a consultant with contacts among the Important, including Trump, Giuliani and "Celebrity Chef David Burke," whoever that is.  Also a model specializing in All-American Girl ads, which must have made it easier to wear the short-shorts Giuliani bought her "with an American flag on them."  I'm not a lawyer but it seems like sexual abuse will be hard to prove, given that she acknowledges providing him with oral sex while he talked on speaker phone with Trump and others; he told her it made him "feel like Bill Clinton."  I think we can all be grateful that he never got any closer to the presidency.

But it's not all prurient detail.  Oh lordy, Ms. Dunphy has tapes, evidently made with the boss's permission, of conversations with all sorts of people, many of them named Trump.  Emails, too, from some of society's worst, including Steve Bannon, Kellyanne Conway, Lev Parnas, Tucker Carlson, Recep Erdogan, Jeff Sessions, Newt Gingrich, Sean Hannity and Rupert Murdoch.  She alleges that Giuliani was selling pardons for $2 million and splitting the proceeds with Trump, which sounds perfectly plausible to me (where would Joe Arpaio get two million bucks?).  That sound you heard was Jack Smith hiring more lawyers.

Still...Margaret Thatcher?  In one of the more cringy passages of Hitch-22 Christopher Hitchens describes the pleasure he experienced when she smacked his bottie-boos with a rolled-up Act of Parliament.  Or maybe it was a speech, or a copy of The New Statesman.  Who the hell cares?  Why do people force me to think about these things?  

"If your stomach disputes you, lie down and pacify it with cool thoughts," said Satchel Paige.  I think I'll go and do just that.

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Robert Kennedy, Jr., thought of a new way to make himself ridiculous that has nothing to do with immunology or Putin.  He declared, "President [sic] Trump has shown himself to be the most devastating debater, probably, since Abraham Lincoln."  Presumably he is referring to the seven debates Lincoln had with Stephen A. Douglas in 1858, which failed to persuade most listeners because Douglas won election to the Senate.  But we still study them for Lincoln's eloquence in shouting "WRONG!" whenever Douglas made a point, and calling him a "runty little sidewinder," and implying that since he was taller and had bigger hands, well, you know.  Go home, Kennedy, you're embarrassing your mother.

We know a little more about the attack at Gerry Connolly's Virginia office.  Xuan Kha Tran Pham asked for the Congressman by name before assaulting two staff members.  He is currently suing the CIA for "wrongfully imprisoning me in a lower perspective based on physics called the book world since 1995" and torturing him "from the fourth dimension."  Schizophrenia?  QAnon?  Not my call.

In the course of investigating that scare we learned of another.  National security adviser Jake Sullivan has a Secret Service detail when in Washington but nobody prevented a possibly drunk man from walking into his house at 3 am last month.  Sullivan himself saw the man off and went outside to awaken alert his bodyguards.  No one was arrested.  

The Biden trial continues on Fox whenever some host will give the kangaroos room to set up their court.  Ron Johnson carefully explained to Larry Kudlow that lack of evidence is proof of crime because crime can be inferred from the absence of evidence.  Because evidence is just what criminals conceal, silly Larry!  I'm impressed that he used "infer" correctly but he's still the stupidest person in the Senate by a few points over Tommy Tuberville.  Margie Greene's over at the Treasury Department right now, examining documents which will prove Biden's long history of evidence-free guilt stretching back to, I don't know, the New Deal?  He's hundreds of years old and possibly a lizard.  She has promised to bring him down, and I can't wait to see her try.  Maybe he helped the Jews kill Lincoln.

Buying low and selling high is a thing billionaires do, isn't it?  It's apparently what George Soros did with his Tesla stock.  But George Soros is no ordinary billionaire like that FOC (Friend of Clarence) who owns Hitler's teapot.  He's an evil genius controlling world finance and bankrolling Marxist DAs who let Black criminals terrorize cities and lock up Good Samaritan Marines.  "He wants to erode the very fabric of civilization.  Soros hates humanity."  Lighten up, Elon, it's just stock in one of your many collapsing enterprises.   

Ron Johnson's main rival, Marsha Blackburn, is delighted with the long-awaited report on Russian interference in the 2016 election, delivered yesterday by special counsel John Durham (played by Richard Dreyfuss):

Marsha is sure the Big Report proves, with no evidence, that it was Hillary Clinton "cooking this plan up" to defeat herself.  She's cunning, all right, but you can't fool a Tennessee Republican.  Hey!  I wonder if Marsha can find the whistleblower, or at least the informant.  

Another beautiful Christian marriage crashes and burns:  Jayson and Lauren Boebert are pffft.  They ask for privacy, which she is happy to deny to all other Americans and their health care providers.  In a poignant reminiscence she recalls that she was sixteen when they eloped but (she adds with a straight face) "this was no shotgun wedding."