Hidin' from Biden

 

In 2004 George W. Bush entertained the Radio and Television Correspondents annual banquet with a video presentation where he pretended to search the Oval Office for those elusive Weapons of Mass Destruction which were the official rationale for invading Iraq.  It was hilarious unless you had a family member killed or wounded in that pointless war or were just not completely depraved.  Depravity prevailed to the extent that Bush won a second term.

Why remember that shameful comedy shtick?  Because I feel like it's about to repeat itself.  The House Overlook Committee's rotund chairman James Comer has spent the spring promoting the story that he is inches away from blowing the roof off the Corrupt Biden Family with all sorts of dire political and criminal consequences.  Periodically Comer shows up on the TV screen to assure America of the whistleblowers and informants who have what Hemingway called the True Gen, only they seem to be missing.  But they really exist, really, the fact that no one else can see them only means that they are in what the chairman calls "the spy business," so you can't just call them on the phone.  Or maybe...maybe...they are being "intimidated" by someone in the White House.  Yeah, that's it.  They're hidin' from Biden!  Because of how he's known for things like intimidating witnesses and siccing his supporters on people.  Or was that someone else, someone from whom the names of jurors have to be concealed, for example?  I don't know, but Biden is terrifying when he isn't wandering around trying to remember his name.

And what is Biden doing instead of appeasing the Squeaker on the debt limit or solving the border "crisis" or ending the war in Ukraine?  Biden is in Philadelphia watching his granddaughter Maisie Biden graduate from the University of Pennsylvania.  All morning!  We paid for that trip.  How many grandchildren does he have?    

I hope the informant has a safe place to stay like a Georgia poll worker, because it's a dangerous world. A man with a baseball bat walked into the Fairfax office of Rep. Gerry Connolly (D-VA) and attacked two staff members, not lethally.  He was arrested and we're waiting anxiously to find out what his political position is.  It's very mysterious.  Connolly says he showed signs of "out of control rage" and also smashed computers and shattered glass. 

Kaitlan Collins must feel like she's being pursued with baseball bats.  Now she's getting attacked by Trump, again, for daring to interrupt Tuesday's tongue-bath with an actual question.  Despite his supposed triumph over CNN in front of an adoring mob, Trump has spent the week incoherent with rage, from a Mothers Day greeting splattered with spittle to "neurotic little AOC with the bad looking boyfriend," whatever that means.  For someone who can't stand to be laughed at, he keeps littering cyberspace with irresistible straight lines.  "She's no Barbara Walters," he sneered, as if Walters would have tolerated his bullshit even until the first commercial.  She's also no Martha Gellhorn or Oriana Fallaci but Trump won't have heard of them.  They weren't his type (TV stars).

Luckily for Trump his nearest rival is a moron.  Ron DeSantis heard that a million dollars has been raised for Daniel Penny's defense fund and decided it was time to jump in front of that parade, praising the subway killer as "a Good Samaritan."  It was pretty funny when Mehdi Hasan, who is a Muslim, had to straighten him out on the Gospel of Luke.  

I don't know what religion Jeff Tiedrich follows, if any, but this is also primo.

Was it "evil" of Joe Biden to deliver the commencement speech at Howard University on Saturday, in which he identified white nationalism as the greatest threat we face?  Fox News thought so.  How dare he "pander" to Black people instead of calling Nazis "very fine people"?