It could be worse

 Perhaps inspired by Noelle Dunphy, Daniel Gill has sued Rudolph Giuliani for conspiring with the City of New York to violate his Constitutional rights.  Who, you ask, is Daniel Gill?  In a Staten Island supermarket in 2022 he slapped the ex-mayor on the back with the cheery greeting, "What's up, scumbag?"  Giuliani may have overreacted just a bit and Gill spent nearly a day in jail waiting to be arraigned for misdemeanor assault.  The suit describes Staten Island as "one of the vanishingly small venues in New York where the fabulist, election-denying, disbarred attorney and late-night-talk-show punchline former mayor Rudolph Giuliani could expect to find a mostly affectionate audience."  Yes, it's colorful civil rights lawyer Ron Kuby getting his digs in.  It doesn't say what monetary damages Gill is looking for but when Dominion Voting Systems, Noelle Dunphy, Judith Nathan et al. are finished he'll be lucky to get subway fare to the courthouse.

It's getting harder to make with the jokes everywhere.  Chinese funnyman Li Haoshi (you probably know him as House) told a story about two stray dogs chasing a squirrel.  For some reason, he said, this reminded him of the slogan "Fight well, win the battle."  I didn't get it either, but it was too close to the motto of the People's Liberation Army and House's employers were fined nearly two million dollars.  On WeChat, the People's Twitter, someone wrote, "The clown will be severely punished!"  Tough room.

After all these years of breasts and bikinis, how did Sports Illustrated attract attention to another swimsuit issue?  With a cover model who is 81.  Martha Stewart says she has had no surgical improvements but she obviously has the time and the resources to look fabulous.  (The photographer Ruven Afanador doubtless helped.)  There has been plenty of sniping, of course, but not as much as in 2021 when Leyna Bloom became the first transgender cover model.  Sports Illustrated is just hopelessly woke, one more thing to oppress all the straight white men entitled to be pandered to.

And so is Miller Lite beer, currently running a commercial where Ilana Glazer, fully clothed, denounces commercials of the past full of barely clothed women.  It's probably a gambit designed to sell beer to women.  So beer is over.  No manly Josh Hawley-type man can drink it ever again.  Millennium approaches.  Something else for Trump to avenge when he takes power.  

I say "takes" because Tommy Tuberville no doubt spoke for the whole cult when he ranted, "Let's don't have elections anymore."  A staffer read the Durham "Report" and told Coach what it said and he's furious that so much effort went into stealing the 2016 election from Trump.  Also people should go to jail.  I couldn't agree more.  Mr. Garland?  Any comments?