Friday, November 24, 2017

Black Friday

What's up?  Did I miss anything good?

A North Korean soldier defected to the South, aided by some brave ROK soldiers after being shot five times by his own guys.  He is recovering in a hospital, where he is said to be fascinated by American TV -- nobody has had the heart to tell him that CSI was cancelled.  The doctors say his body is full of parasites.  Well, the NK water is probably worse than Flint's, and no telling what they have to eat.  All day CNN has been treating us to stock footage of goose-stepping North Korean troops.  Which I have to say, I love.  When Russians or Germans (in the old days) do the Gansefahrt you can see the effort, but these guys look like wind-up toys.  I swear, I can almost hear the Victor Herbert music.  Please, don't tell me it's because of the parasites.

Football players are still taking a knee, and Trump is still pitching a fit.  He now accuses Roger Goodell of "losing control" of them, possibly confusing the commissioner with Jonas Wilkerson, the slave overseer in Gone With the Wind.  A few weeks back, Goodell issued one of his trademark "protest is good but maybe this is not the place" statements, designed to appease both the Players Association and the owners.  He spends so much time sitting on the fence, he must need rectal surgery by March.

As more women complain of his hands-on approach to politics, Al Franken continues to apologize for "making some women feel badly," which is bad grammar and worse politics.  He should deny, deny, deny, like this guy, who sent a woman an Anthony Weiner pic that nobody should have to look at:Texas congressman Joe Barton says police investigating after nude photo surfaces

That's Joe Barton, Republican of Texas, who threatened the woman with the cops if she posted "revenge porn."  Revenge, maybe.  Porn -- well, Tom Lehrer said "filth is in the mind of the beholder," and you'd need a pretty odd mind to get excited by his sixty-eight-year-old liverwurst.  No wonder Congress has no time for actual legislation.  John Conyers, who has been in the House since the Johnson administration, is another one apparently making women feel bad, and we are learning about this mysterious office which occasionally pays abused workers out of the public treasury for misbehaving Congressmen, if the victims can figure out its labyrinthine procedures.  (The flow chart is crazier than a Louie Gohmert graphic connecting everything to George Soros and the Illuminati.)  Did anyone think the Harvey Weinstein scandal would represent a thread which, when tugged, unraveled the whole society?

Of course, the Pussygrabber-in-Chief is providing most of today's entertainment as he desperately tries to fend off the approaching Mueller end-time.  Needless to say, he's in Florida working in a quick eighteen holes before returning to his "documents" and his running commentary on his version of reality.  He finds Roy Moore's denials as plausible as Putin's.  He takes credit for all the wonderful things happening here, especially the Dow Jones Industrial Average.  He continues to feud absurdly with LaVar Ball, while his droogs direct abusive tweets at LeVar Burton because reading is hard and thinking is harder.  The terrible attack on an Egyptian mosque, with more than two hundred dead?  It was the work of terrorists, travel ban, Wall, bla bla.  Earlier this week he assured "his" troops that they were doing great work in Afghanistan, where Americans have been for fifteen years with no clear goal or end in sight.  (I understand Ken Burns is already working on the documentary.)  He didn't mention the three airmen who died when their cargo plane crashed in the Philippine Sea, or the sailors killed this year in collisions with civilian ships.  He never does.

Male-type humans, listen up.  Your genitals were not sculpted by Michelangelo.  You are not David, and we don't want to see them.

Now go shopping and make America great again.





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