I am a terrible person
Maybe it's the weather, maybe it's the caffeine. Maybe I'm just hollowed out by this terrible year. Did anybody else hear about the Sutherland Springs massacre and think, "Well, twenty-plus fewer Trump voters"? No, just me. I am dead inside.
We know why it happened. According to "Judge" Andy Napolitano, it's extremely easy to buy a gun in Texas. Rupert Murdoch pays him good money for these insights. But that's not why, that's how.
Why? Because there's really no point in trying to pass gun-restricting laws because "Laws don't work." That is a direct quote from Ken Paxton. It seems like a strange position for an attorney general, which is the job Paxton does in Austin every day. Texans elect their attorney general, so I suppose they know what they want.
Devin Kelley, America's newest mass murderer, was taking anti-depressants. I'm not sure how Pat Robertson came by this information, but he's satisfied that it explains all the killing.
When Kelley was kicked out of the Air Force (for assaulting his wife and fracturing the skull of her baby son) he should have been entered in the "don't sell this man an assault rifle for the love of god" database, but some clerk messed up. THANKS, OBAMA!
The secular left is dividing America, according to Paul Ryan. Not really relevant, he just wanted to get it out there. I suspect Kelley was not a Mother Jones subscriber, but I guess he could have been triggered by the failure of the Antifa uprising on Saturday to materialize. (Full disclosure: I was disappointed, too.) Ryan, who I am almost certain grew from a maggot which escaped from the grave of Joe McCarthy, is the NRA's greediest Congressional whore. He sends thoughts and prayers.
Fuck, everybody sends thoughts and prayers! Do you need a list? What better place to be blown to pieces than in a church? Even the pastor says so, when he isn't contemplating his ruined building.
Despite his full beard, Kelley was not a terrorist. That's a load off. He was insane, or evil, or both, but not even slightly Islamic. The real hero was the civilian who shot him to death, a classic Good Guy With a Gun. Of course, now we can't ask him if he was crazy or evil or just angry at his ex-mother-in-law, who was among the dead. Hang on.....
Insane, evil, now don't bother Trump when he's in Asia struggling to get a decent hamburger. He makes so...many...sacrifices!
We know why it happened. According to "Judge" Andy Napolitano, it's extremely easy to buy a gun in Texas. Rupert Murdoch pays him good money for these insights. But that's not why, that's how.
Why? Because there's really no point in trying to pass gun-restricting laws because "Laws don't work." That is a direct quote from Ken Paxton. It seems like a strange position for an attorney general, which is the job Paxton does in Austin every day. Texans elect their attorney general, so I suppose they know what they want.
Devin Kelley, America's newest mass murderer, was taking anti-depressants. I'm not sure how Pat Robertson came by this information, but he's satisfied that it explains all the killing.
When Kelley was kicked out of the Air Force (for assaulting his wife and fracturing the skull of her baby son) he should have been entered in the "don't sell this man an assault rifle for the love of god" database, but some clerk messed up. THANKS, OBAMA!
The secular left is dividing America, according to Paul Ryan. Not really relevant, he just wanted to get it out there. I suspect Kelley was not a Mother Jones subscriber, but I guess he could have been triggered by the failure of the Antifa uprising on Saturday to materialize. (Full disclosure: I was disappointed, too.) Ryan, who I am almost certain grew from a maggot which escaped from the grave of Joe McCarthy, is the NRA's greediest Congressional whore. He sends thoughts and prayers.
Fuck, everybody sends thoughts and prayers! Do you need a list? What better place to be blown to pieces than in a church? Even the pastor says so, when he isn't contemplating his ruined building.
Despite his full beard, Kelley was not a terrorist. That's a load off. He was insane, or evil, or both, but not even slightly Islamic. The real hero was the civilian who shot him to death, a classic Good Guy With a Gun. Of course, now we can't ask him if he was crazy or evil or just angry at his ex-mother-in-law, who was among the dead. Hang on.....
Insane, evil, now don't bother Trump when he's in Asia struggling to get a decent hamburger. He makes so...many...sacrifices!
posted by Buttermilk Sky at 12:54 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home