Our infinite variety

 

Sai Varshith Kandula, described as a truck driver from Chesterfield, Missouri, was arrested last night after repeatedly ramming a barricade near the White House.  The Secret Service reported finding a swastika flag in his truck, causing the right to scream "FALSE FLAG!"  Because how could an Indian be a Nazi?  But Kandula was born here, he's only nineteen, and there's always room in the Republican Party for more Nimarata Haleys and Vivek Ramaswamys.  Let's pause to celebrate our all-inclusive fascist movement, its Jews, Blacks, gays, women, hell, give everybody swastika!  Surely they will succeed where the Paleo-Nazis (Aryan only) ultimately failed.

Over at Wonkette, where the sources are better, they reveal more names of Americans who better not try to visit Russia -- and it keeps getting weirder:  Letitia James, former Atlanta mayor Keisha Lance Bottoms, Brad Raffensperger, but not Fani Willis.  Brian Williams (?) and Joe Scarborough but not Mika Brzezinski.  Mark Esper.  Governors Jared Polis (Colorado), Josh Shapiro (Pennsylvania), Christine Kotek (Oregon) and Sarah Huckabee Sanders (Arkansas).  Michael Byrd, the Capitol Police officer "who killed Ashley Babbit [sic] during the so-called 'Assault on the Capitol'."  Jack Smith, you betcha!  Gina Ortiz Jones, Undersecretary of the Air Force.  So many names you'd need a government directory to identify.  I don't know what the RAND Corporation and the Carnegie Endowment did to get up Russian noses but keep it up, guys.  If I had to pick a favorite it would be "Stephen Tyrone Colbert, American television host, comedian, actor and writer."  The one with the glasses?  

Major oversight:  E. Jean Carroll.  Since the man who raped her is physically incapable of shutting up, Carroll has asked the judge to amend her successful suit and order further punitive damages.  He's already ranting about it so this will probably end only when one of them dies.  

Purges are an old Russian tradition and one that endures.  Deputy Science Minister Pyotr Kucherenko "became ill" on a flight from Cuba and died at age 46.  According to Russian journalist Roman Super, Kucherenko told him, "You can't imagine the degree of brutalization of our country.  You won't even recognize Russia in a year," and urged him to leave, describing the "special action" as "this fascist invasion [of Ukraine]."  

To end on a happier note, it seems that gravity in Russia is indiscriminate in its victims.  All kinds of sources report that Putin fell down some stairs and shat himself in his Moscow residence, possibly because of bowel and stomach cancer.  Such a pity, and he's only 70.

Forget Moby Dick.  Meet White Gladis.  Perhaps because of a traumatic collision with a boat, this female orca has been attacking boats off the Iberian coast.  Gladis is also teaching this behavior to other adult orcas, who in turn teach their young.  That's right, an orca army is forming up, fed up with the weird land species that makes life miserable or impossible for so many other life-forms.  The animals who have made the oceans hotter and filthier.  Us.  We are now the prey and Heaven have mercy on us all, Presbyterians and Pagans alike.