Saturday, September 17, 2016

Housekeeping

First a correction:  In a post on September 25, 2015, we predicted that John Boehner would soon be lobbying for the tobacco industry.  This week the tobacco company Reynolds American announced that Boehner had joined it, not as a lobbyist but as a director.  The Buttermilk Sky Organization regrets the error.

On December 9, 2015, we speculated that portions of Trump Tower had been purchased by "wealthy Middle Easterners."  Several publications, including the New York Daily News, have since confirmed that this is indeed the case, and that the owners include the family of the late Osama bin Laden.  The Buttermilk Sky Organization is happy to add, "Yadda yadda told ya so!  And what took  you so long?  We don't have a string of investigative reporters here, just our antennae waving at the Zeitgeist.  Get to work, New York Times!  Double down, Washington Post!  Even Cosmopolitan is asking the hard questions.  Apparently."

The BSO is considering a feature called Useless Judge of the Week.  Several days ago there was a hair-raising story out of Ohio about a woman who was abducted, taken to an abandoned house and raped.  She managed to call police and direct them to the house while the kidnaper was asleep.  They found the bodies of two other women in the house, and the alleged perpetrator led them to a third body.  The judge granted bail.  I know it is now customary to give no-TV-for-a-week sentences to (white) rapists, especially if prison might derail their athletic and/or college prospects, but this is frigging multiple murder.  It's a million dollars, but I suspect his online fans could raise that much in a few hours.  (Name something worthless that doesn't have fans.  I dare you.)  Will he get to keep the taser he used on the woman?  Never mind, he can easily buy another one. And won't she sleep well knowing he's back on the street.  Useless Judge of the Week, thank you.


   

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