Short-fingered vulgarian

The sad vagabonds of the press, drifting in the wake of the Presumptive Republican Nominee, pulled themselves upright for a few moments yesterday to ask what became of all the millions of dollars the P.R.N. supposedly raised for "veterans' groups" some five months ago.  After the expected torrent of abuse for asking an unwelcome question which could in no way be answered with the phrase "crooked Hillary" or "Ya mean Pocahontas?" it was revealed that the money was remitted -- last week.  I was not surprised.  Shall I tell you why?

Where I come from, the term "short-fingered" has always meant "cheap."  As in "When the check came, his fingers were too short to reach his wallet."  As in "Why shouldn't this money sit in my account for a few months, earning interest for me?"  As in "Watch me drain the savings of less-than-bright old people with my fake university."  As they say, grifters gotta grift.  Anyone who took "short-fingered" to imply a lack of penile amplitude would have to suffer from a serious personality disorder, where I come from.

Need I go into "vulgarian"?