Crimes and misdemeanors

 The Intimidate Jack Smith Project has progressed from name-calling to defunding threats to blackmail.  Patrick "Overstock" Byrne, election denier and Oval Office conspirator at the December 18, 2020, planning meeting, has taken to Twitter to insinuate that he has kompromat -- a word he learned from ex-girlfriend Maria Butina -- on Smith.  As he puts it, "On a previous stop on his journey, Jack was a very naughty boy.  And was videotaped in his naughtiness.  He doesn't know that yet."  

Oh, come the fuck on.  This sounds like the kind of note a distraught client would bring into Nero Wolfe's office.  Who posts it on social media?  Despite Elon Musk's best efforts Twitter still has hundreds of subscribers.  Videotape?  Was Smith in high school?  Gettin' jiggy with some cheerleaders?  It must have given Trump pleasure on December 18 to know he wasn't the dumbest one in the room.

I'm sorry.  I can't be expected to find a coherent narrative for the events of the day with this kind of thing going on.  Or this kind:

I tried to warn Margie Greene about the synthetic estrogen, especially the sketchy tablets she gets from Ronny "Candyman" Jackson.  Yesterday she slipped off her perch, regaling an embarrassed Oversight Committee with photos of Hunter Biden's genitalia, blown up like atrocity pictures at Nuremberg ("Figure 26, Himmler's left foot").  A private citizen put pictures of his body on his own computer and now they're what the kids call "revenge porn."  Which is illegal in most states and the District.  DoJ needs to open a new file.  She advised "parental discretion" for all the families watching C-SPAN in the middle of the day, because Republicans are devoted to protecting innocent children and also fetuses.  So now we've established that Hunter was born male, which is an obsession with the nut right.

We've also learned how Black history is to be taught in Florida:  "Students should learn that enslaved people 'developed skills' that 'could be applied for their personal benefit,' and that in teaching about mob violence against Black residents instructors should note 'acts of violence perpetrated against and by African Americans.'"  My italics, their weaseling.  And don't think this won't spread to other red states like a flesh-eating bacteria.

Speaking of which, a full year before the "no water" bill was signed by Greg Abbott, Gabriel Infante was laying fiber optic cable in San Antonio (100F, 75 percent humidity) when he began exhibiting symptoms of heatstroke.  The foreman diagnosed his problem as drug-related and, when EMTs arrived, insisted they administer a drug test.  Infante died in the hospital with a body temperature in excess of 109F.  He was 24 years old.  His mother is suing B Comm Constructors.  In a few weeks they will be within their legal rights to deny the help water breaks, San Antonio having been overruled by state law.

The heat's not going away and neither is the cruelty of Republicans, so maybe it's good news that a study by Emory University, the University of Washington and Seattle Children's Research Institute found that 25 kinds of toxic flame retardant were present in a sampling of human breast milk.  Even if you have to do construction work in Texas, you probably won't burst into flames.  Isn't that good?  Let's say it is.

In New Jersey, Eliyahu Weinstein and four friends were indicted for wire fraud and conspiracy to obstruct justice.  Fans of Ponzi schemes and real estate fraud may remember that Weinstein was in the middle of a lengthy prison term when he was pardoned by one Donald J. Trump, himself no stranger to fraud and obstruction of justice.  So soon, Eli? 

Panic-buying of Viagra has begun!  A tornado damaged a Pfizer facility in Rocky Mount, North Carolina, and shortages of many drugs are anticipated.  The House Oversight Committee will now hold hearings into how this is Biden's fault.

 

She does not exaggerate.

Good news for Israel:  Trump has been shamed into returning some ancient ceramic oil lamps from the national collection which were lent for a White House Hanukkah celebration in 2019.  The party did not take place and the items somehow wound up at Mar-a-Lago, probably mixed in with golf clothes and newspaper clippings.  Trump was too busy to go through all the boxes and besides Walt Nauta kept moving them from one bathroom to another.  Or they may have accidentally wound up in Melania's purse.  Just right for eyeliner.

Why won't Squeaker McCarthy endorse Trump?  Why isn't he rushing the "expunge impeachments" resolution to the floor?  Maybe because even he knows it's not in the House's power to do any such thing and he doesn't want history to view him as a weakling and a fool.  Hell, let's rewrite more history.  Expunge the Clinton impeachment.  Reverse the Gulf of Tonkin resolution.  Did we really enter World War I?  With all that's happened, surely the Hollywood Ten should not be held in contempt of Congress.  Yes, Mr. Orwell, you called it.