Potential doom

 It's not a holiday until Agolf Twitler rants, and the cornered rat did not disappoint.  It's surprising that his phone still works after spending so much time in ALL CAPS mode.

For those whose lips get tired if they have to read a bunch of words, there was a re-Troof from a particularly articulate supporter:  "Fuck Biden and fuck you for voting for him.  81 million votes and I've never seen a pro-Biden hat, shirt or flag in my life."  Of course, the campaign gear is not obligatory, only the votes, and covering your pickup with Trump stickers, flags and toilet paper does not count as additional votes.  I happen to have a (replica) WIN WITH WILLKIE button, but wearing it does not seem to affect the outcome of the 1940 election.  But Agolf took up the chant:  "True:  No Biden hats anywhere.  Never seen one!"  So STOLEN ELECTION!!1!

The main missive was the usual lament for America (him), its decline as a result of enforcement of the Espionage Act (against him), its descent into a laughingstock among the nations (mainly Russia, Hungary and Belarus) and its "potential doom" if the charges are not dropped with many fulsome apologies.  Yadda yadda yadda.  For Labor Day, maybe hire some jingle writers.

In fact there are many Biden hats, shirts, bumper stickers and so on.  We just have to be careful where we deploy them because Trumpanzees have a well-documented history of violence against people and property.  Also guns.  (People were punched, spat on and insulted for wearing a mask during the pandemic, without reference to Biden.)  But here's a nice one with a rainbow that even mentions Kamala Harris, who the media will tell you is the least popular woman since Typhoid Mary Mallon:

 They're probably made in China because everything is.  But we're not hypocrites about it, blaming China for covid, fentanyl and shark attacks while beseeching them to grant patents to Ivanka Kushner's knockoff purses and shoes.  (Yes, she has apparently taken her husband's name.  Make of it what you will.)  

The actual president's July 4 message was more traditional:  "Jill and I were honored to celebrate this Independence Day with our military families who represent a link in a chain of honor that stretches back to our founding days."  Speaking of honor, this is how Captain Bonespurs sees himself:

 

And he was still telling Brett Baier how he actually won in 2020.  Perfectly delusional.

Why can't we be -- I never thought I'd write this -- more like Brazil?  Their superior electoral court ruled 5-2 to bar Jair Bolsonaro from running for public office until 2030.  They found that he had peddled "immoral" and "appalling lies" about Brazil's electronic voting system.  The president of the court declared its "repulsion toward the shameful populism...reborn from the flames of hateful and anti-democratic speech and statements which propagate disgraceful disinformation."  Also, on January 8, 2023, a mob of his supporters ransacked the court, congress and presidential palace as they tried to overturn the election of President Lula da Silva.  It's downright eerie.  And Bolsonaro has not been indicted for stealing classified documents and stashing them in his cabana.  "My goodness gracious, this is an injustice," he complained, which is a lot more dignified than "Fuck Lula."  Who's the banana republic now?

Protesters from Just Stop Oil disrupted one of the UK's most sacred events, Wimbledon, while two blokes in white clothes were playing tennis.  It's hard to blame them -- yesterday was the hottest day in the history of the world, breaking the record set twenty-four hours earlier.  By now yesterday's record, 17.18C, has probably been broken, too.  That's 62.9F, which sounds chilly until you remember it's Antarctica as well as Tehran, where this poor cab driver is trying to survive:

Everyone is a-tizzy about shark attacks but my advice is, keep an eye on the 'gators.  Last month a couple in New Iberia, Louisiana, were awakened by their dog, which felt they ought to know a five-foot alligator had entered through the dog flap.  Yesterday a woman walking her dog in Hilton Head, South Carolina, was killed by an alligator.  An alligator took the arm of a man in Fort Myers, Florida, who left a bar to urinate in a pond.  (I don't blame it.  Use the men's room.)  In February a woman in St. Lucie County, Florida, was killed by a ten-foot alligator.  Sharks are easy to avoid -- stay out of the water.  These critters have legs, and enormous jaws, and a big appetite.

Could anyone's Fourth of July message have been more insultingly stupid than Trump's?  I'm glad you asked.  The official twitter account of the Republican Party read, "247 years ago, our forefathers told Ol' King George to get lost!  Happy Independence Day from the GOP!"  But it wasn't the faux-folksiness of the billionaires' party, it was the accompanying illustration:

 Yes, it's the one-star flag of Liberia.  "This is what happens when you ban books," observed one recipient.  Apparently the lazy bastards lifted it from the Austin Police Department, so shame on them, too.  It's the fault of the Liberians, of course, for designing their flag as a tribute to the country that more or less invented them.  Anyway, it lightened the gloom so many feel after the depredations of the Supreme Court and the refusal of Josh Hawley to vanish in a puff of sulphuric smoke.

And so we stagger into our 248th year, gators snapping at our heels.