What does it all mean?

The Pope says priests and nuns need to delete porn from their phones because it "weakens the priestly heart."  

Mike Pence says the First Amendment does not guarantee "freedom from religion," and that "no one is allowed to talk about the Ten Commandments or the importance of moral values" because of -- you guessed it -- "far-left progressives."  

Interstellar cockroach in a dentist skin Paul Gosar has written to Volodymyr Zelensky and Vladimir Putin, inviting them to Arizona for "peace talks."  This is the same Arizona where armed, masked thugs are hanging around drop boxes to intimidate voters, and where the campaign office of Democratic secretary of state Katie Hobbs was just burglarized.  

...so your loved ones can send help if you don't return from voting.

Check your watch and note what you were doing when Empty Greene came up with the extraordinary concept "corporate communism."  It's when corporate donors stop giving to the Republicans because of the January 6 coup attempt.  She will investigate as soon as she has power, you bet.  Police were called to London's Highgate Cemetery to investigate possible fracking-related tremors but discovered that Karl Marx had rolled over.

A Georgia mail-in ballot (and I should know) says it can be dropped off by a family member.  To that end, a man named Mark Andrews deposited five ballots at a drop box in Gwinnett County on October 6, 2020, for himself, his wife and their three adult children.  He was disturbed to discover himself starring in 2,000 Mules with a narrator intoning, "What you are seeing is a crime.  These are fraudulent votes."  His face and the license plate of his car are visible.  He was even more disturbed when some election denier turned him in to the Georgia Bureau of Investigations, which cleared him of all charges.  Now he is suing True the Vote and three chuckleheads named D'Souza, Engelbrecht and Phillips for defamation.  The fact that Mr. Andrews is Black probably had nothing to do with it.

The secret word is ROMNEY.  Observers as far away as the Guardian are worried that John Fetterman appeared to struggle with words in his debate with Mehmet Oz.  Republican chair Ronna ROMNEY McDaniel found it hilarious in an interview with Hugh Hewitt:  "So Biden said, 'Between the two of us we may be able to finish a full sentence.'"  (He didn't.)  Meanwhile Bret Baier offered to act as the unbiased moderator of a debate between Mike Lee and Evan McMullin on Fox News but Lee, who has not had a major stroke (that we know of), declined.  Lee was in the studio two weeks ago pleading for the endorsement of Mitt ROMNEY but has not received it.  

On November 6 we set back the clocks and Trump throws a hate party in Miami for Little Marco.  And look who he forgot to invite:  Ron DeSantis.  Ooh, feud!  I knew this was why he hired the Swift Boat Slanderer.

More than 250 literary figures signed an open letter to Penguin Random House protesting their plan to publish a book by Amy Coney "People of Praise" Barrett.  There's always Regnery but I doubt they can match the $2 million Copious Breeder is alleged to be getting.

The former Lake Mead has yielded its sixth set of human remains this year.  

The Miss Universe Organization has been bought for $20 million by Thai businesswoman Jakapong "Anne" Jakrajutatip, who is transgender.  Deal with that, DeSantis.