Dangerous fruit

 A group of people who say they were assaulted by Trump goons at a 2015 rally got him deposed in their lawsuit and have now released the video.  Needless to say, it's hilarious.

Super-virile tough guy Donny says he ordered the mob to "beat the crap" out of protesters because of a warning that they would "do fruit" -- specifically, "pineapples, tomatoes, bananas, stuff like that" which is probably lethal.  "There was an alert out that day," presumably from their agents at Publix.  Because "tomatoes are bad" and "some fruit is a lot worse."  No pumpkins?  They have seeds and a stem you can use as a handle.  I'd go with the pumpkin.

(Incidentally, the only violence at Trump rallies was committed by his supporters, encouraged by him in what now seems like a rehearsal for January 6.  Once a man held up a sign and the SecServ hustled him offstage to change his underwear.)

By coincidence Emanuel Macron was also threatened with tomatoes during a post-election stroll through a working-class district of Paris.  Someone threw a whole bag and missed.  "He sidestepped the projectile and continued to greet people and shake hands."  It doesn't say the would-be assassin was even arrested.  

I don't know how these people got TFG to sit for a deposition.  He ignored a subpoena by AG Letitia James in her civil investigation of his business practices, and Judge Arthur Engoron imposed a contempt order and a fine of $10,000 a day.  His faithful disciple Alex Jones, who owes millions to the families he defamed by lying about their murdered children at Sandy Hook Elementary School, chose to dodge responsibility by filing bankruptcy.  Will Trump do the same?  He's had plenty of experience.  But wouldn't that undermine his claim to be absurdly rich?  No, because the Trumpanzees would understand how smart he is to avoid paying fines, taxes, wages and other obligations.  And they would give him more money, which he doesn't need because he's so rich.  The zenith of MAGAt reasoning, and now I have a headache.

Trump will talk to any mom's-basement podcaster who expresses fulsome admiration but he still craves a wider audience.  That's why he sat down with human gumboil Piers Morgan last week.  Before Morgan insulted him by refuting his Big Lie, he placed himself yet again at the center of, well, everything:*  "I said, 'Isn't it a shame all those people are dead, all because of a rigged election.'  Because if our election wasn't rigged, you would have had nobody dead."  He was talking about the invasion of Ukraine by his good friend Putin, great guy, very smart, would never have done it if Trump had told him to stand down.  So, Brad Raffensperger, are you sorry now you didn't "find" those votes?  Because of you, Mariupol is in ruins.

See-saw, Marjorie Daw, recommended "Marshall law."  Empty is having quite the month.  You can go to court and "I can't recall" all day, but the internet never forgets.  Like this text to Mark Meadows she thought the enemy would never see:  "In our private chat with only Members, several are saying the only way to save our Republic is for Trump to call for Marshall law.  I don't know on [sic] these things.  I just wanted you to tell him."  But she thinks the problem is that the American people "don't really know me...the media created a character [sic] of me, and that's the character that they want to present to the American people."  Based on what?  On statements like "Satan's controlling the [Catholic] Church," which she said to a fringe Catholic group called Church Militant.  The bishops take public money and use it to "essentially skirt around [sic] US immigration laws."  In court last week, where some people were trying to use the Fourteenth Amendment to get her out of politics, they played a video where she says, "We can't allow the transfer of power to happen peacefully."  The University of Georgia may be proud to have alumni like Greene and Herschel Walker, but I'm [sic] of writing about her.

Home-schooled Hitler's in hot water again.  When the TSA agent asks if he packed the bag himself, the correct answer is, "Yes, except for the gun," but he can't seem to remember.  Needless to say it's the fault of the  "political establishment" gunning for him, so to speak, releasing raunchy pictures and demanding he be investigated for insider trading (fellow MAGAt Thom Tillis, if you please).  Won't someone take pity on a poor, Nazi-loving paraplegic?  

Piers Morgan didn't have time to ask Trump about lightbulbs and toilets, so Larry Kudlow went on Fox Business Network -- yes, it still exists for a few hours a day -- to carry on the fight against low-intensity showerheads.  Somebody has to, and he's not busy.

Where have you gone, Robert Morgenthau?  A nation turns its lonely eyes to you...Manhattan DA Alvin Bragg appears to have lost interest in prosecuting Trump.  That leaves Merrick Garland and Fani Willis, and my money's on Willis.  

Today is the birthday of Terry Pratchett, who should have lived much more than 66 years.  So we remember him and others who died too young:  Jeremy Hardy (57), Sean Lock (58), Linda Smith (48), Peter Cook (57), Graham Chapman (48).  Laughter is a blessing.

*Does the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders have a chapter on toxic solipsism?