Mirth day

 

All right, this timeline is providing so much for us to laugh at, there must be something apocalyptic around the corner.  Something we need to be distracted from.  In one week...

America's punchline, Rudolph Giuliani, made aware that you don't need a law license to pick up a quick paycheck, shows up on one of those talent fests to sing "Bad To The Bone" after emerging from a toy younger viewers may not recognize as a Jack In the Box.  In costume, with better makeup than above.

President For Life Donzo J. Trump, in trademark clown makeup, invites pseudo-journalist Piers Morgan to his trash palace to brag about his stupendous hole-in-one.  But Morgan ambushes him by stating that even he has not seen any evidence of a stolen election, and they wind up calling each other names and then PFL waddles out fribbling his tie like Oliver Hardy.  Trump:  "You're a fool!  And you haven't studied...I don't think you're real."  Jury's out on that one.

Liz Cheney and Wolodymyr Zelensky received the John F. Kennedy Profile In Courage Award.  It's a long time since I read Sorensen's Kennedy's book, but I seem to recall one of the exemplars was the senator whose vote kept Andrew Johnson from being booted out of office in 1868.  Zelensky deserves better (not to mention planes and missiles), but he's probably too busy to notice.

Empty Greene went to court to paint herself as a victim of the January 6 insurrection and to insist (under oath) that she just can't remember if she urged Trump to impose martial law in order to prevent democracy.  She's being sued by Free Speech for People, an organization that doesn't think traitors should run for Congress.  She warmed up by whining that the press would be allowed to observe, probably for the first time in any American courtroom.  "I am the first Republican member of Congress that is going to be forced to take the witness stand under oath and defend myself."  FSP also sued traitors Andy Biggs, Maddy Cawthorn and the cockroach from Planet Gosar, but only woke leftist Georgia allowed the suit to proceed.

Another book, another description of Speaker-wannabe Kevin McCarthy discussing the Twenty-fifth Amendment with Trump and then lying about it.  Liz Cheney got him on tape.

If you're keeping score, the winner of Election Fraud Lotto is Mark Meadows, with the news that he was registered in Virginia and South Carolina as well as the rusty trailer in North Carolina.  Is anyone checking the other forty-seven states?  Wherever Meadows goes he likes to sample the local version of cherry pie and register to vote.  He's like an evil Steve Hartman.

Fresh from putting Piers in his place, Trump told a bunch of Heritage Foundation fans that he tried to extort money from NATO by threatening not to defend them from Putin.  So he still doesn't know how NATO works and he doesn't watch the channels that carry hourly news of NATO's growing popularity.  Soon he'll be calling Finland and Sweden "shithole countries" for trying to join.

If you're an idiot and you find yourself on a plane -- a very enclosed space -- with Mike Tyson, how do you get his attention?  You throw a bottle at him.  And then he punches you hard enough to make your head bleed.  Because he's Mike Tyson.

Giuliani's masked singing seems like opening night at the Met compared to Norm Pattis, an attorney for the forever-classy Alex Jones.  Jones is trying to hide behind bankruptcy laws to avoid paying the parents who sued him for lying about Sandy Hook, and the representative fits the client perfectly.  Pattis, who fancies himself a comedian, dropped his pants to perform a routine at a Connecticut pizzeria that climaxed with him saying "n-----" because it's funny, damn it.  

Today in Russian disinformation, Tucker Carlson more or less accused Wolodymyr Zelensky of stealing the money Ukraine is getting from the US.  Because those people will do anything for money.  Has Putin done a deal with Baby Tuckoo for a chain of ball-tanning salons, you think?

"Fox gave time and attention to a powerful figure who would have, if given his way, put the last nail in the coffin of democracy in this country."  (Variety)  Yes, Variety ("Wall Street Lays an Egg," 1929) now has bigger, tanner balls than The New York Times.