At last the 2003 show

 The US invaded Iraq to find them.  George W. Bush looked everywhere, even under his desk.  Finally, the Weapons of Mass Destruction have surfaced.  From the Guardian:

"Russia is receiving munitions and military hardware sourced from Iraq for its war effort in Ukraine with the help of Iranian weapons smuggling networks, according to members of Iranian-backed Iraqi militias and regional intelligence services with knowledge of the process."

I knew they'd turn up!  We should have been nicer to the Iranians twenty years ago.  They had the keys to the bus station lockers where the anti-tank missiles and RPGs were hidden.  Russia made nice with Iran during the butchery in Syria and now it's paying off.  Just goes to show, you can get farther with a kind word and a few torture chambers than you can with a kind word.  Also, death to America.

Now that it's officially a world war, maybe we can join in?  The Irish are ready to fight -- a ten-car "caravan" of pro-Russian fifth columnists invaded Dublin today.  Another gang of fascists demonstrated in Hanover, Germany.  Russia isn't coy about its plans, including inviting "our partner Trump" to help celebrate the "liberation" of Mariupol, after which they will formally re-install him in power as the Germans did with Mussolini in 1943.  Malek Dudakov, a political scientist specializing in America, has already picked Tulsi Gabbard as vice-president.  "With America we should be working to amplify the divisions and -- in light of our limited abilities -- to deepen the polarization of American society."  You're being too modest, professor, there's an entire major "party" at your disposal.