K PERIOD

 The K-Period means that the text receiver is so pissed that he or she cannot be reached emotionally over text.  Thus it is advised that in-person communication be sought.  As in THIS IS SO NOT OK.

I never text but I know what it is to be so pissed, and not in the fun, British, too-many-lagers way.  It's more like everyone on earth needs to shut up and go sit in the dark for a week.  Just shut up.

Hundreds of dogs and cats died of starvation and dehydration in Ukrainian shelters; hundreds more were shot outright by brave Russian soldiers.  I'm grateful Betty White didn't live to see this.

A man in Magdeburg, Germany, got ninety covid vaccinations so he could sell the cards to people who refuse to be vaccinated.  At least we know how safe the vaccine is.

A man on a flight from Seattle to Phoenix masturbated several times but insisted he had the permission of the woman next to him.  He was arrested and could be banned for life from Southwest Airlines.  No, it was not Louis CK celebrating his Grammy.

Ohio Trumpanzee Josh Mandel thought it would be a good idea to use the Edmund Pettus Bridge to promote his senate campaign and attack critical race theory.  I'm sad that John Lewis didn't live to see this.  Mandel needs to hear what he would have said.

A week after calling Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson "pro-pedophile," sedition cheerleader Josh Hawley wants to distance himself from other racists who have picked up the cue.  This appears to be a reference to QCumber Margie Greene, who proclaimed, "Any Senator voting to confirm KBJ is pro-pedophile just like she is."  Lisa Murkowski and Mitt Romney have declared themselves pro-pedophile by saying they will vote to confirm.  Still no word about Russian trafficking of Ukrainian children, as Marge is busy at the gym.  Besides, Putin never called her a racist.

Amazon is no place to work if you require bathroom breaks, but it's equally hard on free speech.  A list of words banned from the internal messaging app under development includes "grievance," "diversity," "plantation," "slave labor," "fire," "injustice" and of course "union."  Maybe the last will be permitted now that workers at the Staten Island warehouse have voted to unionize.  Or maybe they'll have to call it The Event.

An apartment house in North Miami Beach not far from the collapsed Champlain Tower South has been ordered evacuated for being structurally unsound.  Come on down to Florida!  You may die in a heap of rubble one night but your kids will never hear about trans people in school.  Don't say YAAAAGH!

In Nigeria, Mubarak Bala is going to prison for 24 years for being an atheist.  Envious evangelicals resume their plotting.

Trumpanzee Matt Mowers, running for Congress in New Hampshire, seems to have voted twice in 2016 from different New Jersey addresses.  He's one-up on Mark Meadows, who only registered twice in North Carolina.  They're just amazingly inept at election fraud.

Orgy fibber and habitual traffic scofflaw Madison Cawthorn decided he hadn't spilled his colostomy bag often enough this week, so:  "Take notes, Madam Speaker, I'm about to define what a woman is for you.  XX chromosomes, no tallywacker...this proclamation of fundamental scientific fact will cause the woke liberals of Silicon Valley to strip you of your voice and ban you until you bow at their altar of falsehoods."  And now it's in the Congressional Record.  

The UN Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change says we've got until 2025 to get a handle on this thing and you know damn well we won't so fuck it all anyway.