War, peace, etc.

 Listen up, California!  It's all very well to be the sanctuary state for women seeking reproductive freedom and the first to make election day an official holiday.  If you really want to be the envy of the other states why not choose Rachel Hamm as your secretary of state?  Just like Ken "Dinosaur" Ham but with even more M's!  She has done battle with Satan-worshipers in her neighborhood and actually killed a witch with her prayers, which is why she has the backing of Mike Lindell and Michael Flynn and the admiration of Steve Bannon.  But those endorsements pale in comparison to Jesus.  Her son found Jesus in a closet while looking for his "Let's Go Brandon" shirt and Jesus handed him a scroll commanding Rachel to run for office.  I can't wait to see it.  I just hope the kid isn't messing with her.

Deputy Attorney General Lisa Monaco says the Justice Department is hiring an additional 131 lawyers to handle the January 6 insurrection cases.  Meanwhile the House Select Committee reports a mysterious seven-and-a-half hour gap in the White House phone logs turned over for that momentous day.  All they have is Kayleigh MAGA-ninny ordering pizza and someone who sounds like Barron trying to win Adele tickets from HOT 99.5.

Rep. Pete "No Relation To That Woke Alabama RINO" Sessions (R-TX) became the latest to embrace the white nationalist "great replacement" theory.  The brown hordes at the southern border are definitely pushing out the "white, Christian Americans."  Can I at least meet my replacement?

Gotcha!  Somebody started a rumor that Nebraska schools had set out litter boxes for children who "self-identify as cats," because questioning your gender at birth is just so gol-durn funny.  (Who said the next step after same-sex marriage would be people marrying their dogs?)  One idiot -- no, that's unfair.  One Republican fell for it.  State senator Bruce Bostelman, not the sharpest, had to apologize for mentioning it in a televised debate.  And there was much hilarity.

When Joe Biden said Putin has to go and called him a butcher and a war criminal, my response was, "Hell, Joe, everybody knows that."  But then the media and even his own people lost their minds and "walked it back" (early leader for Most Tiresome Cliche of 2022).  Was he wrong?  Well, looky looky who's asking his friend and sponsor Putin to release information he supposedly has on Hunter Biden.  Depose the one, convict the other.  Only way this ends.

I guess Syrian recruitment was a bust, because the shredded Russian army is bringing in a thousand mercenaries from the Wagner Group, known for committing war crimes in Africa and Syria.  It's not just personnel shortages.  The Russian army's tanks charged into Ukraine like it was Kursk 1943, but either their tactics suck or the tanks do.  Now they're being pushed back from Kyiv and Vlad is screaming into his MyPillow.

Peter Doocy is silly!  Biden is right again!

This is for me.  Would everyone please read this article about the supermassive black hole so the Independent will stop running it week after week?  Thanks truly.