Prohibited topics, unsolicited strategies

I've been feeling a little subpar for, oh, the last fifteen years or so, and now, thanks to acupuncturist/chiropractor/researcher Dr. Bryan Ardis, I know why:  cobra venom.  The Catholic Church has been introducing synthetic cobra venom into our drinking water to replace our "God-created DNA" with the evil kind in order to make us hybrids of Satan.  So goodbye covid, hello King Cobra Venom Pandemic.  At least we know where we stand.  The doctor doesn't say why horse dewormer is the only effective antidote, but I feel certain he's doing more research.  I have stopped drinking water in order to safeguard my precious bodily fluids, and I already feel tons better.  If only Oprah was still doing her daily show we would have been introduced to Dr. Ardis long ago, and he'd probably be running for the Senate.

So many conspiracies.  Thwarted by the state legislature and the intrepid Ron DeSantis, the critical race theory plotters are smuggling CRT into the state's curriculum via math books.  Florida's "education" department rejected 54 math texts because they contained "prohibited topics or unsolicited strategies, including CRT."  ("If LaShonda votes illegally in Miami and Murray votes illegally in The Villages, why does Murray get probation while LaShonda is sentenced to six years in prison?  Show your work.")  Any combination of numbers that adds up to 1619 is also prohibited by state law.  

In CRT-shy states it's probably illegal to say so, but Friday was the seventy-fifth anniversary of Jackie Robinson's first game with the Brooklyn Dodgers, an event for which major league baseball congratulates itself every year.  Since Robinson has been dead since 1972, racists like Tom Cotton are comfortable praising his achievements without any context.  They also like to tell us he was a Republican, which is true up until 1964 when, to his horror, they nominated Barry Goldwater for president.  Robinson wrote, "A new breed of Republicans has taken over the GOP...seeking to sell Americans a doctrine which is as old as mankind -- the doctrine of racial division, the doctrine of racial prejudice, the doctrine of white supremacy."  Sixty years ago most Americans apparently agreed, or they were just afraid Goldwater would start a nuclear war.  Today, who knows?

Dictionary.com defines "charlatan" as "a person who pretends or claims to have more knowledge or skill than he or she possesses; quack."  As a description of Trump it's fairly mild, but it's what Judge Reggie Walton pulled out as he prepared to sentence insurrectionist Dustin Thompson.  "I have a concern that we have, unfortunately, American citizens who were so gullible that they were willing to accept what was being said without any proof that the allegations about the election had any merit whatsoever...we have charlatans like our former president, who doesn't in my view care about democracy but only about power."  Appointing Judge Walton was one of the few good things George W. Bush did.  Now how do we get Trump tried in his court?