Mid-week roundup

 Chansley lawyer scoffs at client's role, endorses smoking crack:  After Shaman Jacob Chansley was sentenced to 41 months for participating in the attempted coup, his attorney Albert Watkins was still trying to downplay his actions:  "Are you going to follow the guy who's naked, tattooed, nipples, January DC, hours outside with horns, face paint and a fur and say, yeah, that's the guy I want, I'm following him?  Unless you're smoking crack, which, you know, is not bad on occasion." 

You believe this Stitt?  As the hour for another horrific state killing by lethal injection approaches, Oklahoma Governor Kevin Stitt continues to ignore calls for clemency from clergy, high school students, the European Union and many others.  Apparently Stitt wants to run for president and hopes Julius Jones will be his Ricky Ray Rector.

Granite Old Party.  It is against the law to teach "critical race theory" in New Hampshire public schools, but that's not good enough.  Inspired by Texas's "rat out the slut" law, a bunch called Moms For Liberty [sic] has offered $500 to "the person that first successfully catches a public school teacher breaking this law...we will pledge anonymity if you want."  Like if you don't want to be laughed at, or you're afraid the teachers union will order a hit on you.  Gerrymandering, restrictions on voting, giving electoral veto power to the state legislature, those are all very well, but if you want to kill democracy you have to attack it at the molecular level. 

House of Reps or Roach Motel?  The House just voted to censure Cockroach-In-a-Dentist-Skin Paul Gosar for sharing some of his violent fantasies with social media.  He will lose a couple of committee seats but will not be expelled, no matter how many of his siblings beg for it.  The interstellar insect refused to apologize, comparing himself to Alexander Hamilton.  Not Jesus?

Wires crossed, Todd.  In Chuck Todd World nothing the Democrats do is ever good enough.  The infrastructure bill "might have been impactful in August or September or October.  It feels more like...[it] might not be a good story for Democrats in 2022," because voters make up their minds no later than Halloween of the preceding year.  But Trump Himself calls it a "big victory" for Biden and Pelosi and blames it on Scrotum-face McConnell.  Chuck?  Want to rephrase?

The agony and the amnesty.  Judge Matthew J. Murphy III "agonized" over the case of Christopher Belter, who pleaded guilty to raping four girls at a party when he was 16 or 17.  He's twenty now but Murphy decided "incarceration or partial incarceration isn't appropriate" and gave him probation.  His lawyer said he can "empathize" with his victims, which should certainly enable them to heal and move on.  You can stop having nightmares now, girls.  One day you may testify at his confirmation hearing. 

Oops!  Turns out the Bureau of Labor Statistics undercounted new jobs by 626,000 over the last four months.  Could there be a Trump mole hiding behind the file cabinets?

No religious Test shall ever be required...except for Muslims.  The Republiclowns continue to boycott a confirmation hearing for Dilawar Syed, nominated for deputy director of the Small Business Administration.  It's bad enough they got an Injun at Interior, damn it!

That's not at all weird.  Mike Tyson says he smokes toad venom three times a day.  The hallucinogen makes him "more creative and focused," said the man who used to beat people's brains out and chew off their ears.  I couldn't be happier for him.

Such, such were the joys.  The British historian Helen Roche's new book investigates the way Nazi elite schools were carefully patterned after Eton, Harrow and other public schools.  There were sport programs, exchange students, and many other reasons the British upper classes were so supportive of Mr. Hitler, at first.

A little effort, please.  With all the clever nicknames available to a jenius, "Liz Harrington" is sticking with Old Crow (sometimes Broken Old Crow) for his no-longer BFF McConnell.  What's wrong with The Turtle, Scrotum-face, Addison DeHalfwit, The Wall-eyed Chinless Homunculus or Evil Incarnate?  I have others.