Mad, bad, sad

 Didn't you always suspect he was named after a disease?  Addison Mitchell McConnell III, alias Scrotum-face, approached Trump back in the lovey-dovey days, possibly with tears in his eyes, to ask that he "write" an introduction to Moonlight and Fascism or whatever his autobiography is called.  Trump told Addison to write it himself (as if he doesn't employ a ghost, too) and make-pretend it was an Official Presidential Introduction.  But they broke up in January over Addison's failure to stop the certification and the rift widened when McConnell supported the Biden infrastructure deal (or as Trump inexplicably calls it "Democrat longevity").  It's so sad.  You almost wish they'd stay together till spring like Mimi and Rodolfo, and then loathe each other.  Oh, well.

In the grim McCarthy days nobody ever told dissenters to "Go back to Belarus!" but that may change.  Evan Neumann helped storm the Capitol in January but he's terrified by the sentences being handed out to his fellow Trumpanzees, some as long as two months.  He's seeking political asylum in Lukashenko land and has already participated in anti-American propaganda on state TV.  I wonder how many patriots will follow his example.  

Republicans are having a bad week everywhere.  Jeff Hoverson is a pastor and North Dakota state legislator who organized an anti-vaccine rally but had to miss it.  He has covid.  Not to worry, the horse de-wormer is pepping him right up.  But if the veterinary self-medication doesn't work and he ends up hospitalized, I hope he shows as much class as Richard Soliz, who thanked the doctors and others who saved his life at Harborview Medical Center in Seattle.  He apologized for not getting the vaccine.

The soreheads in the formerly-biggest state yammer about secession so much that there's a word for it:  Texit.  And there's no sorer head than the unlovely object adorning Ted Cruz's neck.  He doesn't want to do it but he's afraid we're leaving him no choice:  "I'm not ready to give up on America.  I love America," he told some other patriots at Texas A&M.  "Texas is right now an amazing force keeping America from going off the cliff.  Keeping America grounded on the values that built this country."  Like ripping it away from Mexico to make it safe for slavery.  Voter suppression, book banning, and reducing women to the status of fleshy incubators.  Please give up, Ted.  Leave us to our fate and take Screwy Louie and that nasty, bitter governor with you.   Leave the Johnson Space Center and all the military installations.  Oh, and El Paso says it wants to join New Mexico, pendejo.

There's so much crazy in Texas that the crazy in other states has to work overtime for even a little internet mockery.  One of the most tireless is the interstellar cockroach from the planet Gosar which crashed into Arizona and appropriated the skin of a dentist.  It has now appropriated a Japanese anime called "Attack on Titan," now cunningly retitled "Attack on Immigrants."  It shows our hero and two other possible insects Boo-boo Boebert and Big Crazy Marge wielding swords against the favorite target of the mad, Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez.   Who is not an immigrant.  Puzzling, but I guess it's uncomfortable walking around in a dentist suit.  

 

Now spit.