Purple mountain travesties

Everyone knows America is the envy of the world.  Let's see why!

The Rittenhouse trial is basically an Armando Iannucci film at this point.  The judge ruled that the two men killed by the defendant's gun could not be called "victims" but had no problem with a defense witness calling them "antifa" and "rioters."  The same witness, a rightwing reporter named Frank Hernandez, went further, testifying to Kyle's courageous effort to "de-escalate" the violence.  Another defense witness, a "use of force expert" named John Black, easily convinced Judge Schroeder that the "pinch and zoom" feature on Apple phones might distort a video's "logarithm" (perhaps he meant "algorithm").  Even before Black took the stand Schroeder made everyone stand and applaud him because he is a veteran and it's Veterans Day.  The judge got a call during testimony and it turns out his ringtone is Lee Greenwood's "God Bless the USA," the Trump rally anthem.  Here is a picture of Judge Schroeder whiling away the trial with a book which purports to celebrate military service with cookie recipes.

 

  Does he know people can see him?

The Republiclown Ignorance Offensive continues to expand:  James Whitfield had to resign as principal of Colleyville Heritage High School in Texas after being charged with teaching children that racism exists.  This is called "holding extreme views on race."  Meanwhile in Jefferson's home state the Spotsylvania school board has caved in to a couple of rioters called Rabih Abuismail and Kirk Twigg and removed "sexually explicit" books (i.e. those that acknowledge the existence of LGBT people) from libraries.  Twigg insists they "see the books before we burn them," which is borderline liberal of him.  "There are some bad, evil-related material that we have to be careful of and look at," he added, grammar abandoning him in the face of danger.  Where they burn library books they will ultimately also burn bookstores.  Incidentally, the hundredth anniversary of Ulysses is coming up.

When will the persecution end?  Julian Assange's baby-mama Stella Morris says he's wasting away in the London jail where he awaits extradition to the United States.  He no longer has disciples bringing him meals from high-end restaurants and has not been allowed to marry Morris, which he suddenly needs to do.  He should have thought of the consequences before he hacked Hillary Clinton's emails.  Or pissed off everyone at the Ecuadorian embassy.  They never believe there will be consequences.  Speaking of which...

Send for Big Marge!  A couple of "political prisoners" awaiting trial for various January 6 tourism activities, including the assault of an officer, are being force-fed --- critical race theory!  They say it was loaded on the free tablets issued by the DC Department of Corrections so they could play Angry White Birds and keep up with their militias back home.  There's even "anti-white messaging," for which they provide no examples.  Maybe people laughing at Pat Boone's version of "Tutti Frutti"?  At least they can masturbate to enjoy Trump's Veterans Day video, basically a lament for the "very very tough" period the country is being forced to endure since the election was stolen from him.  Trump can't order a burnt steak without complaining about the ass-kicking he got a year ago. 

In much of the Southland it's still 1955.  Glynn County police sergeant Roderic Nohilly testified in the trial of the three men who killed Ahmaud Arbery about his post-arrest interview with Gregory McMichael, who said he knew Arbery "wasn't out for no Sunday jog.  He was getting the hell out of there," probably because he was being pursued by two white men in a truck.  "He was trapped like a rat," he continued.  Even regular runners have to stop some time and that's when they shot him like a rat.  I will be very surprised if these three cry, except possibly at sentencing.  If there is any.

Because it is Veterans Day I want to remember Max Cleland, who died this week at 79.  After losing both legs and an arm in Vietnam, Cleland went on serving this country as VA administrator, Georgia secretary of state and finally US Senator.  In the end he was defeated by a sleazy Republican campaign that was a warm-up for the sleazy Republican campaign unleashed against his fellow Vietnam vet John Kerry.  They love them some veterans, unless they're Democrats.  Rest in peace, Senator.