Topsy-Tuesday

 Groucho:  "Look at Chicolini -- he sits there alone, an abject figure."

Chico:  "I abject!"

The espionage trial at the climax of Duck Soup is no longer the limit of courtroom absurdity.  It was superseded yesterday in Kenosha, Wisconsin, USA, when Mark Richards, attorney for the defense, explained to the jury that Kyle Rittenhouse should be acquitted because he only fired four times.  (Two men died but they aren't victims.)  By contrast Officer Rusten Sheskey shot Jacob Blake in the back seven times and is not only back at work but has not even been indicted.  Rufus T. Firefly could not have put it better.  In the movie, the courtroom soon erupts in delirious celebration, including the defendant, as Freedonia goes to war.  In Kenosha that part hasn't happened yet, but the National Guard is standing by.   The trial has begun to attract fascist celebrities:  Mark McCloskey took time from his senate campaign and brought gun-moll Patricia to enjoy the fun, a brave move since they appeared to be unarmed.

Three "silly, bubbly and handsome" snow leopards in the Lincoln Children's Zoo have died of covid.  There have been reports of big cats being infected before and recovering but this appears to be a new and more virulent strain.  I mention this because it is sad on its face and because Pharisee Greene continues to grandstand for her supporters, boasting of how much she has been fined for refusing to be vaccinated or mask her "face" on the House floor.  (It's less than she owes the state of Georgia for claiming a tax exemption on two houses.)  You have to admire the relentless way this virus mutates.  Fingers crossed.  

I finally figured out who Rittenhouse looks like.  Imagine Tucker Carlson raped a comatose woman in an ICU, and nine months later...

Henry Tarrio, Ghislaine Maxwell, the Shaman guy, just nobody likes the conditions in American jails.  Which would be fine if it led to major reforms, maybe another infrastructure bill to build comfy facilities with health clubs and media rooms.  But it won't.

Years ago the medical research institutes used to announce every couple of months that binging on some vegetable would prevent cancer -- broccoli, kale, spinach or something else you would normally ignore.  Now it's dementia.  Caffeine, apparently, is the magic substance for those who are starting to lose their train of thought, like Judge Bruce Schroeder during jury instructions ("I've got myself into a mid-sentence and I don't like it").  Ten-minute cappuccino break?

Here's a crime Schroeder will never have to worry about:  "Insulting the memory of Ataturk."  Turkey regularly locks up writers on bullshit charges; this case got noticed because it involves Nobel laureate Orhan Pamuk and is based on a work of fiction, Nights of Plague.  If Erdogan fears Pamuk he's going to hate the Netflix series The Club.  Netflix has a history of caving to tyrants so see it while you can.  And read the book.

But all the news is not bad:  Danny Fenster is home after getting an eleven-year sentence in Myanmar.  Thank you, Bill Richardson.