Thursday news salad

Roman emperors used to deify their predecessors, in the hope that the next guy would do the same for them.  Augustus declared Julius Caesar to be "the divine Julius," Tiberius kicked Augustus upstairs and so on.  In the Catholic Church, successor to the Roman Empire, it has become a common practice to canonize former popes.  Maybe they should be vetted a little more carefully.  It appears that Saint Pope John Paul II knew about the sexual misconduct of Theodore McCarrick  but nevertheless made him archbishop of Washington and then a cardinal.  Apparently McCarrick was an admirable fundraiser and, as another American bishop trenchantly put it, "The Church don't run on Hail Mary's."  Pope Francis demoted McCarrick to civilian last year, but somebody still has some explaining to do.  Can you un-saint a saint?  

Angelina!  Daddy got out again.  He's fine, Martha from the dry cleaner walked him home, but it might be time to think about round-the-clock care.  Jon Voight made a video calling the president-elect "Satan" and promoting conspiracy theories about vote fraud, and someone who loves him or wants to protect his legacy as an actor needs to take action.  

Here's a story that probably will be a movie:  Bounchan Keola came here from Laos at the age of four.  When he was sixteen he was riding in a car with other young men and someone shot at another car, resulting in a death.  Keola pleaded guilty to attempted murder and served twenty-two years in prison.  This year he was seriously injured battling the Zogg fire in northern California.  (Inmates earn a dollar an hour doing this hazardous work, for which they have little or no training.)  Even though he is a legal resident, Keola can now be handed over to the ICEstapo for deportation under a California law that Governor Gavin Newsom shows no sign of opposing.  It's not clear that Laos would even take him back.  Happy endings are few and far between these days.

If you scored an invitation to the Election Infection party at the White House, I hope the champagne was chilled and the food was above average.  Corey Lewandowski, David Bossie, Ben Carson, Brian Jack, and now big-bucks donors Richard and Liz Uihlein are among those who got coronavirus as a party favor.   And Trump lost anyway.  Enjoy your Democrat hoax.

Asked by Brian Kilmeade if Joe Biden will receive intelligence briefings soon, Kayleigh McEnany responded, "That's a question for the White House."  If Kilmeade looked more confused than usual, it's probably because McEnany's job is to speak for the White House.  It's always stressful to prepare for unemployment but she has to do better than that.  Meanwhile Republicans like Chuck Grassley, Mike DeWine and Oklahoma Senator James Lankford are urging Trump to quit sulking and get on with the transition.   They didn't sign up to be babysitters.

Rupert Murdoch is trying to coax the critter out of the White House with breadcrumbs like this from the New York Post:  "Trump among long-shots to replace Alex Trebek as Jeopardy! host."  Yes, right after Dame Maggie Smith gets a call-in show on ESPN.  ("Hello, Ronnie from South Boston, do go ahead.")  Clearly Murdoch is terrified of Trump's proposal to set up his own TV network/streaming platform/skywriting company to crush Fox News, which he now hates for its "garbage" broadcasters.  

White nationalists in disarray!  You probably know that Kyle Chapman stepped down as chairman of the Proud Boys to set up its "tactical defense arm" the Waffen-Proud-Boys Fraternal Order of Alt-Knights.  His successor is Enrique Tarrio, who identifies as Black and was among several PBs stabbed in Washington on November 3.  Chapman is disgusted by Chairman Tarrio's "failure to conduct himself with honor and courage on the battlefield" and has deposed him and resumed control.  No, that's not the funny part.  Here it is:  He is changing the name to "Proud Goys" because "the West was built by the White Race alone and we owe nothing to any other race."  If Trump is counting on these guys to "stand by" for some coup attempt, he may be disappointed.  They're joining in the "Million MAGA March" announced for this weekend (and co-opted from Louis Farrakhan's "Million Man March" of 1995, if you're keeping score), Hawaiian shirts optional.

Now they won't be confused with these Proud Boys.   Thanks, George Takei.

In other ICEstapo news, six women who complained of being involuntarily sterilized at the Irwin County Detention Center in Ocilla, Georgia, have been deported, and another seven may follow.  Dr. Mahendra Amin, the gynecologist who perpetrated the atrocity, is still here.

The libel suit Trump brought against CNN was dismissed, of course, by the US District Court for the Northern District of Georgia.  Judge Michael Brown is a Trump appointee but one who does not understand proper gratitude, and Trump is too depressed even to tweet abuse.  Heckuva job, Brownie!  (No, probably not the same one.)

Texas Lieutenant Governor Dan "Not the Sports Guy" Patrick offered a million dollars for information about voter fraud.  Yesterday he got this tweet from Lieutenant Governor John Fetterman of Pennsylvania:   "Hey, Governor Patrick, it's your counterpart in Pennsylvania.  I'd like to collect your handsome reward for reporting voter fraud.  I got a dude in Forty Fort PA who tried to have his dead mom vote for Trump.  I'd like mine in Sheetz gift cards pls.  PS the Cowboys blow."  Check out Fetterman on YouTube -- the Democratic Party needs more like him.  

Mike Pompeo wants an independent investigation of voting irregularities in Belarus!  Well, hollow laughter is better than none.