It's funny because it's true

 ...and because I need to laugh.  

Much speculation about the weird discolorations appearing all over Mitch McConnell.  Could they be what Trump's Clown Orange No. 5 is designed to conceal?   Is he in fact a giant interstellar cockroach in a McConnell suit?  Why hasn't his campaign come up with some story by now?  Four years ago we were told that Hillary Clinton was dying every time she coughed.  Payback's a mitch.

First sad story:  The Trump campaign got caught using a Facebook ad evidently made in Russia with an actress pretending to be an American doctor and praising Trump for his incredibly brilliant success in developing a covid vaccine (personally, I guess).  To rub in salt, they used stock film of a field in Slovenia.  Even the Russians have lost interest.  They used to be better at this.

Second sad story:  Israel and Sudan have established a framework for normalizing relations -- which is great -- and Trump wants all the credit, which is silly.  So he called in the cameras during a call with Benjamin Netanyahu and begged like the prime minister was Daddy Fred:  "Do you think Sleepy Joe could have made this deal, Bibi, Sleepy Joe?  Do you think he would have made this deal?  Somehow I don't think so."  Silence.  Then Netanyahu said, "Well, Mr. President, one thing I can tell you is that we appreciate the help for peace from anyone in America [my italics] and we appreciate what you've done enormously."  Not quite the fawning Trump had in mind but in front of reporters he couldn't call Bibi a "watermelon head."  It sounds like someone's getting ready to deal with President Biden.

Third sad story:  Now would be a good time to look for a bigger place, New Yorkers, because Trump has declared your city a "ghost town."  Or as a beloved New York figure once put it, "Nobody goes there, it's too crowded."  True, the city lost 24,000 inhabitants to the Trumpandemic, but others will  come to take their places.  It's been that way for centuries.  Soledad O'Brien is always going to have trouble parking on the street.

It's not quite Israel-Sudan but Trump also wants credit for saving Big 10 football.  And possibly for getting John Dillinger.  

Maybe those sharp ads from The Lincoln Project have convinced you that Trump's the aberration in an otherwise sound party.  If so, you should read about Rep. Clay Higgins (R-LA) who believes his wife has second sight.  She had a dream about "federal squads" coming to confiscate their weapons, water and food, and he decided this was something to share.  This guy's on the Homeland Security Committee and gets classified briefings.  He's also a racist but you knew that.  Sorry, TLP, but it's sociopaths all the way down.

Exhibit B is North Carolina Congressional candidate Madison Cawthorne, whose special dog-whistle is accusing a local reporter of collaborating with Senator Cory Booker to "ruin white males."  Relax, Madison, we had you pegged when you posted your vacation pictures of Berchtesgaden.  Or was that another "syntax error"?

Remember the Minneapolis police precinct that was shot up during last May's protests?  And how Trump needed to send troops to protect the city from Antifa and Black Lives Matter?  He forgot Boogaloo Bois.  For it was one of theirs, Ivan H. Hunter, who drove up from Texas with his AK-47 and is now facing federal charges.  That makes three Boogalosers in custody and unavailable for voter intimidation duty.

Don't look for Alexander Treisman, either.  He was arrested on a charge of possessing child pornography and, we learn, also had big plans for Joe Biden -- the kind that involve assault rifles, explosives and night-vision goggles.  

Even as Pope Francis called for same-sex civil unions -- yes, he's late to the party but it took them five hundred years to admit they were wrong about Galileo -- the US was joining with other outlaw nations in an anti-abortion declaration promoting 1950s-style "family values."  Franklin Graham will be pleased, but it's not going to help Trump convince all those suburban women (and poor Tiffany's many gay friends) that he's on their side.  When your opponent is kicking himself in the chram, Joe -- let him.

Eighty thousand new cases today.