Can I go now?

Remember that great movie The Asphalt Jungle where Marilyn Monroe, playing the mistress of a corrupt lawyer, addresses a policeman as "You big banana-head"?   She also says things like "Yipes!" and addresses her sugar-daddy as "Uncle Lon" because she's young and fairly unsophisticated.  So it was startling when the aged, jaded, ignorant but hardly innocent Trump unveiled his new nickname for Adam Schiff:  "watermelon-head."  But how does he hold it up with a "pencil neck"?  More to the point, when can I open my browser without fear of seeing that swollen, stupid face that looks like an old catcher's mitt dipped in marmalade?  See, my insults are apposite. 

We're all tired of this shit-flinging baboon and his flunkies and his spawn and the trail of slime he leaves.  Everybody's talking today about the commercial that was unveiled last night, "Go From Here."  To be honest, I wasn't sure if Sam Elliott was trying to get me to vote for Joe Biden or buy a Ford truck.  In my head I heard him drawl, "The Dude abides," and I thought, for how long?  Jeff Bridges announced this week that he has lymphoma.

Already on the brink, I saw the video of Biden in Parkland, Florida, after the 2018 terrorist attack.  When the son of a murdered coach, who appears to have Down syndrome, runs over and Biden hugs him -- even now it's hard to write about.  A simple, unplanned human interaction, and it's being passed around social media like a first look at a comet.  This was once unremarkable, people.  And I am not going to Breitbart to see if they're using it as evidence of pedophilia.  Because then I would have to break something.

Oh, the election ratfuckery is reaching a climax like the 1812 Overture.  Robert R. Lynn, registered Republican of Luzerne County, Pennsylvania, was busted for requesting an absentee ballot for his dead mother.  People who got their ballots legally and would like to mail them should know that Louis DeJoy, the Harry Daugherty of John Mitchells, ordered all Postal Police to stop protecting the mail and its carriers for the next two weeks.  (You may remember them from the Steve Bannon arrest.)  And those deep state lifers at the DOJ are still working to stop Russian election interference even as the Trumpers howl, "Iran, it's IRAN!"

In the last act of this turkey, we're about to be introduced to a new character, Tony Bobulinski.  More melted cheese from the October nothingburger, would be my prediction.  But while we wait, enjoy this photo of Mitch McConnell turning into a Black man, one section at a time.

So. Very. Tired.