No anything
NBC News just announced that Joe Biden is ahead in electoral votes. That should help Michelle Obama's depression. It's done a lot for mine. When you're running against an existential threat to American democracy, it doesn't matter who your running mate is.
Biden has promised to select a woman, probably African American. Aware of the toxic levels of racism and misogyny in this country, he's waiting as long as possible. (At one time, such decisions added to the drama of the convention.) Sure enough, Mayor Barry Presgraves of Luray, Virginia, thought it was funny to write on Facebook, "Joe Biden has just announced Aunt Jemima as his VP pick." If he'd put it on Twitter, Trump would have re-tweeted it by now. As it is, he's been scolded by members of the city council and urged to resign. Is that "cancel culture"? I have mislaid my Snowflake Dictionary.
Trump spent the day as he has spent every day since the End Time began in 2017, campaigning and lying. Both are becoming more incoherent. In Ohio, where the governor has covid and can't meet him, he again played down the pandemic that has killed over 160,000 Americans ("children are almost...definitely immune to this disease") and rambled about water pressure and lightbulbs. Today's money quote, however, has to be this attack on Biden: "No religion, no anything, hurt the Bible, hurt God, he's against God, he's against guns, he's against energy, our kind of energy." At least he's not a Kenyan like Obama or "the devil" like Hillary, right? Now what were those five words the nice man asked you to remember? Are you sure you want more debates?
Back under the yellow sun, Mike Pence was denouncing John Roberts as "a disappointment to conservatives" for joining the liberals on LGBT workers' rights, abortion and immigration. Look, you got Citizens United and Shelby County v. Holder, didn't you? Roberts keeps falling over, he apparently has some health issues and he's thinking ahead to the history books. Apparently he'd rather be ranked with Earl Warren than Roger Taney. Live with it, Mikey.
On second thought, probably better to accuse Biden of heresy and witchcraft that run on the economy. Another million unemployment claims, more farmers going bankrupt -- a photo-op at a Whirlpool plant probably won't impress anybody. The Republicans will have to rely on their original playbook: screwing up the mail, "purging" the voting rolls, lying about fraud and using poor, off-his-meds Kanye West to fiddle the electoral vote. If that doesn't work, maybe the new ambassador to Iran, Elliott Abrams, can cook up a "crisis" that makes voting impossible. Drop by the White House for your pardon and credentials package, Mr. Ambassador.
YouTube has deleted thousands of channels for spreading Chinese propaganda. (Now that's cancel culture.) I hope I can still watch That Mitchell and Webb Look.
Biden has promised to select a woman, probably African American. Aware of the toxic levels of racism and misogyny in this country, he's waiting as long as possible. (At one time, such decisions added to the drama of the convention.) Sure enough, Mayor Barry Presgraves of Luray, Virginia, thought it was funny to write on Facebook, "Joe Biden has just announced Aunt Jemima as his VP pick." If he'd put it on Twitter, Trump would have re-tweeted it by now. As it is, he's been scolded by members of the city council and urged to resign. Is that "cancel culture"? I have mislaid my Snowflake Dictionary.
Trump spent the day as he has spent every day since the End Time began in 2017, campaigning and lying. Both are becoming more incoherent. In Ohio, where the governor has covid and can't meet him, he again played down the pandemic that has killed over 160,000 Americans ("children are almost...definitely immune to this disease") and rambled about water pressure and lightbulbs. Today's money quote, however, has to be this attack on Biden: "No religion, no anything, hurt the Bible, hurt God, he's against God, he's against guns, he's against energy, our kind of energy." At least he's not a Kenyan like Obama or "the devil" like Hillary, right? Now what were those five words the nice man asked you to remember? Are you sure you want more debates?
Back under the yellow sun, Mike Pence was denouncing John Roberts as "a disappointment to conservatives" for joining the liberals on LGBT workers' rights, abortion and immigration. Look, you got Citizens United and Shelby County v. Holder, didn't you? Roberts keeps falling over, he apparently has some health issues and he's thinking ahead to the history books. Apparently he'd rather be ranked with Earl Warren than Roger Taney. Live with it, Mikey.
On second thought, probably better to accuse Biden of heresy and witchcraft that run on the economy. Another million unemployment claims, more farmers going bankrupt -- a photo-op at a Whirlpool plant probably won't impress anybody. The Republicans will have to rely on their original playbook: screwing up the mail, "purging" the voting rolls, lying about fraud and using poor, off-his-meds Kanye West to fiddle the electoral vote. If that doesn't work, maybe the new ambassador to Iran, Elliott Abrams, can cook up a "crisis" that makes voting impossible. Drop by the White House for your pardon and credentials package, Mr. Ambassador.
YouTube has deleted thousands of channels for spreading Chinese propaganda. (Now that's cancel culture.) I hope I can still watch That Mitchell and Webb Look.
posted by Buttermilk Sky at 3:02 PM
1 Comments:
* obligatory golf clap* Well done, indeed.
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