When news breaks...
...we collect the pieces and glue it together.
Thursday night, July 30, 2020, during a racist rant about Barack Obama's magnificent eulogy for John Lewis, Tucker Carlson delivered this sentence: "It's hard to believe that clip is real, but it is, down to the cloying fake accent, Mr. Hawaii guy." That's right, Frozen Dinner Boy acknowledged that Obama is from Hawaii. Birtherism is dead! Make a note of the date.
In today's installment of "Trump: Imbecile, Moron or Idiot?" the Stable Jenius took a break from attacking voting by mail and opined, "It's actually a great thing, absentee ballots. I'm going to be voting absentee." Absentee voting is, of course, voting by mail.
Of course, Trump's absentee ballot may not be delivered on time, even if he manages to fill it out correctly this year. His postmaster general/sugar daddy Louis DeJoy is cutting hours at most facilities and letting the mail pile up in the name of saving money. Some suspicious minds think this has something to do with those mail-in ballots, on top of the Republican hatred of any government agency that actually works for ordinary people. The postal service is doing well financially from the covid crisis -- not as well as the Kushner family but all right -- because of package delivery from retailers like Amazon, so finding new ways to cripple it is a full-time job. November is coming and Trump is as fearful as a kid who doesn't want to go to the dentist.
Meanwhile the world's oldest toddler has a new enemy in his sights: Tik-Tok, the video app from Jina. Tik-Tok is how a few kids ruined his beautiful Tulsa rally. Tik-Tok is where the brilliant Sarah Cooper mocks him relentlessly. Tik-Tok must be "banned." Some excuse about protecting the personal data of Americans. Only Facebook and Twitter may profit from that. I'm not at all sure the Mean Widdle Kid can "executive order" an app out of the country -- how does this internet thing work again? -- but I guess we'll find out. (If he knew about Randy Rainbow he'd want YouTube shut down.)
Many years ago Robert Klein used to talk about the small-time corruption that caught up with Spiro Agnew and caused him to quit the vice-presidency and nolo-contendere his way out of jail time. Klein suggested that if Agnew had landed on the moon instead of Neil Armstrong his first words would have been "Sam's Tailor Shop, Baltimore!" "What did he take, twelve hundred bucks and a bag of groceries?" Klein wondered. It seemed so petty compared to the enormity of Watergate, which was exploding all around him at that point.
The US economy contracted by a third in the second quarter of 2020. More than four million people have been infected with coronavirus, and over 152,000 are dead. A million people file new unemployment claims every week. The Congress can't come up with a relief package to prevent evictions, and with no CDC guidelines in place many schools will soon reopen. One of the worst-hit places, Florida, is in the path of a major hurricane. I'm not even mentioning the storm troopers in blue cities or the children in cages.
And what is the Chief Executive concerned with? "Support Patio Pizza and its wonderful owner, Guy Caligiuri, in St. James, Long Island (N.Y.). Great Pizza!!!" (July 30)
He thinks we don't know where Long Island is.
Thursday night, July 30, 2020, during a racist rant about Barack Obama's magnificent eulogy for John Lewis, Tucker Carlson delivered this sentence: "It's hard to believe that clip is real, but it is, down to the cloying fake accent, Mr. Hawaii guy." That's right, Frozen Dinner Boy acknowledged that Obama is from Hawaii. Birtherism is dead! Make a note of the date.
In today's installment of "Trump: Imbecile, Moron or Idiot?" the Stable Jenius took a break from attacking voting by mail and opined, "It's actually a great thing, absentee ballots. I'm going to be voting absentee." Absentee voting is, of course, voting by mail.
Of course, Trump's absentee ballot may not be delivered on time, even if he manages to fill it out correctly this year. His postmaster general/sugar daddy Louis DeJoy is cutting hours at most facilities and letting the mail pile up in the name of saving money. Some suspicious minds think this has something to do with those mail-in ballots, on top of the Republican hatred of any government agency that actually works for ordinary people. The postal service is doing well financially from the covid crisis -- not as well as the Kushner family but all right -- because of package delivery from retailers like Amazon, so finding new ways to cripple it is a full-time job. November is coming and Trump is as fearful as a kid who doesn't want to go to the dentist.
Meanwhile the world's oldest toddler has a new enemy in his sights: Tik-Tok, the video app from Jina. Tik-Tok is how a few kids ruined his beautiful Tulsa rally. Tik-Tok is where the brilliant Sarah Cooper mocks him relentlessly. Tik-Tok must be "banned." Some excuse about protecting the personal data of Americans. Only Facebook and Twitter may profit from that. I'm not at all sure the Mean Widdle Kid can "executive order" an app out of the country -- how does this internet thing work again? -- but I guess we'll find out. (If he knew about Randy Rainbow he'd want YouTube shut down.)
Many years ago Robert Klein used to talk about the small-time corruption that caught up with Spiro Agnew and caused him to quit the vice-presidency and nolo-contendere his way out of jail time. Klein suggested that if Agnew had landed on the moon instead of Neil Armstrong his first words would have been "Sam's Tailor Shop, Baltimore!" "What did he take, twelve hundred bucks and a bag of groceries?" Klein wondered. It seemed so petty compared to the enormity of Watergate, which was exploding all around him at that point.
The US economy contracted by a third in the second quarter of 2020. More than four million people have been infected with coronavirus, and over 152,000 are dead. A million people file new unemployment claims every week. The Congress can't come up with a relief package to prevent evictions, and with no CDC guidelines in place many schools will soon reopen. One of the worst-hit places, Florida, is in the path of a major hurricane. I'm not even mentioning the storm troopers in blue cities or the children in cages.
And what is the Chief Executive concerned with? "Support Patio Pizza and its wonderful owner, Guy Caligiuri, in St. James, Long Island (N.Y.). Great Pizza!!!" (July 30)
He thinks we don't know where Long Island is.
posted by Buttermilk Sky at 12:02 PM
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