Thursday, July 30, 2020

The last laugh

Anthony Baxter is about to be vindicated.  After four years of furious litigation by the Trump Organization, his documentary You've Been Trumped Too will soon hit half a dozen streaming platforms.  It continues the story of Molly Forbes, originally told in You've Been Trumped, whose family farm was deprived of water so Trump could build his now-collapsing Turnberry golf course in Aberdeen, Scotland.   Baxter was even jailed briefly, because the UK lacks the press freedoms we take for granted.  Required viewing for those who wonder why Trump is so detested in Scotland.

It's too soon to celebrate, but the Federal District Court for the District of Columbia is taking another look at the bizarre circumstances of the decision to drop charges against Michael Flynn after he twice pleaded guilty to lying about his relationship with Russia.  Bill Barr says he had nothing to do with the DOJ's decision, so it's a certainty that he's lying, too.  Lock him up?

The worst thing Herman Cain did was market terrible pizza, so I'm not celebrating his death from covid at 74.  He tweeted a picture of himself maskless at the intimate Trump gathering in Tulsa last month though as a cancer survivor he must have known he was at high risk.  We can't be sure he was infected in Tulsa, but he signed the waiver like every other attendee so the Trump campaign is in the clear, and that's all that counts, right?  But it's not just #BlackVoicesForTrump that's a man down -- Bill Montgomery of Turning Point USA also died of covid this week age 80.  It has to be worrying for Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-CrazyPeople), who got the bad news yesterday.  Rejecting Dr. Immanuel's succubus theory, the Padishah Emperor says he caught coronavirus from the mask that mean Nancy Pelosi made him wear.  I look forward to celebrating his death.

Today those anonymous uniformed federals are supposed to start clearing out of Oregon per an agreement between Gov. Kate Brown and the DHS.  But the outrage is by no means over and has even gained one of those pseudo-military names:  Operation Legend.   Gauleiter Barr promises to keep fighting "violent crime" (peaceable assembly) in Chicago, Milwaukee, Kansas City and -- Albuquerque?  Really?  Not New York, where the "Finest" have now turned to kidnapping?  Not Los Angeles, where more than fifty cases of police brutality are under investigation?  Albuquerque?

As Americans prepare to face eviction and hunger and a disease without a cure and the Republicans in the Senate haggle over a new relief bill that doesn't provide enough money for the F-35A fighter jet or provides too much for those lazy Americans ($200 a month, down from $600), Trump as usual puts a warty finger on the real problem:  No money for a new FBI building.  He really does not like the present one, it's a bad building, it's the reason people don't want to stay at the Trump Trivago Hotel across the street, he's very good at money laundering real estate and he wants a brand new building right now!  As the economy collapses and the market staggers and martial law is unofficially declared, what could be more important?  All I wanted was a new name on the old one.  It's not like the FBI is renting overflow space in a Virginia strip mall. 

Remember how Vladimir Putin assured Trump he didn't interfere in the 2016 election?  He also didn't put out a contract on American troops in Afghanistan.  Topic never even came up.  Why would it?  Also he's not involved in this year's election.  Putin says it.  Trump believes it.  That settles it.  It should be a bumper sticker.

But with or without, this election will be "INACCURATE" and "FRAUDULENT" if Americans are allowed to vote by mail, and should be postponed until people can "properly, securely and safely vote."  (Stop laughing.)  In other words, Joe Biden continues to open his lead and could turn even Ohio, Georgia and Texas, so it's time to panic.  I love the smell of panic in the morning, especially since there are about eleven reasons the election will come off on November 3 as planned.  Whether the Trumpanzees will accept the outcome is another matter.

Can we skip the racist bullshit for just today, until John Lewis is laid to rest?  Oh, well.  Yesterday he went to Texas to brag about rescinding yet another Obama reg, this one about fair housing.  Those good people in the suburbs need not worry about low-income housing near their pools and patios, driving down prices because those people.  This led Sen. Chris Murphy to tweet, "Our president is now a proud, vocal segregationist."  Right on cue, Medal of Freedom recipient Rush Limbaugh took a carefully screened call from a cab driver who could not believe the number of "Black Lives Matter" lawn signs he was seeing on his daily rounds.  On lawns, you understand, not in the ghetto.  Rush knows the problem is (as always) women:  "millennial college-educated white women...becoming nothing more than hoods...your average ne'er-do-well in the 'hood -- white women."  Rush is so happy when he can hate hoods and bitches in the same sentence, he forgot he more or less promised he was dying.  Also, who says "ne'er-do-well"?  Horatio Alger?

On a lighter note, David Perdue and Lindsey Graham seem to be using the same "consultants."  Fresh from enlarging Jon Ossoff's nose, they have darkened Jaime Harrison's skin to where you can hardly make out his features and thrown in a picture of "Hollywood" Kathy Griffin, who once posed with a fake severed Trump head that apparently made Barron cry.  Some variation on "leftist anarchist Hollywood elitist" has become a popular Rightzi tag for "Biden supporter," which explains why the Q Qrazies want both Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson to die, and why they recently took Greek citizenship. 
Check out the proportions of the Harrison/Griffin picture -- are we supposed to think of King Kong and Fay Wray?  Subtle.

Then there's this Texas economist named Vance Ginn who has done the numbers and decided it's fine to open the schools because most of Texas's covid dead are elderly and/or Hispanic.  Racist and ageist -- why isn't this guy the governor?  And what's his obsession with British royalty? 

The Reagan Foundation asked the RNC and the Trump campaign to stop using St. Ronnie's image in their fundraising, but they never asked them to stop honoring Nazi war dead.  In a sequel to "Bonzo Goes To Bitburg," Donzo's ambassador to the Netherlands Pete Hoekstra visited Ysselsteyn, a cemetery containing many Waffen-SS graves.  Hoekstra likes to cover all his hate bases -- he also claimed there are "no-go zones" in Dutch cities, which is code for "places where scary Muslims enforce sharia law," and is also bullshit for which he had to apologize.  (Until you've insulted your host country, you're not a real Trump diplomat.)

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I don't look to the heavens for signs and portents, but they say a double rainbow appeared as John Lewis lay in state on the steps of the Capitol for the last time.  I'll take it.






 








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