Coward bunker, dude!

As any glassy-eyed Q-believer will tell you, Trump keeps his promises.  He said he would build a wall, and he is -- a thirteen-foot "anti-climb" barrier around the White House to keep out asylum seekers and everyone else.  The White House already has a fence, bullet-resistant windows and more armed guards than the average army base, but Field Marshal Bonespurs is afraid a protester will get past all of them and burgle his hamburgers while he hides in the cellar.  He's about a week away from proclaiming the place "Fortress Ivanka" and ordering it held to the last defender. 

And say this -- he's consistent.  He flew to New Jersey yesterday to play golf with Bret Favre, but he won't drive up the street to pay respects to John Lewis, lying in state in the Capitol rotunda.  That's what Joe Biden meant when he called Trump "the first racist president."  He wasn't letting all the others off the hook, but at some point it became bad form for racists to parade their racism in public.  Dog whistles and deeds for Nixon and Reagan, thank you.  Even George Wallace became positively conciliatory near the end.  Trump is all id -- he couldn't hide his contempt for uppity black people or women if he tried, and because he is perfect, why try?  It's almost admirable.  Racists admire him to the point of worship.  They know the real deal when they see it. 

Back on planet earth, an interesting database of extremist violence was published today.  It turns out that "left-wing extremists" a/k/a Democrats are barely on the scoreboard.   This is breathtaking in a country where assault weapons are easier to access than abortion.  I keep picturing the damage a Kalashnikov could do to a DHS stormtrooper.  It helps me cope.  But of course, as Nixon used to say, that would be wrong.

For some reason the Yankees invited Trump to throw out the first pitch at their August 15 home opener.  Although there will be no fans to boo him as at the World Series, he says he'll be too busy pretending to fight the Trump Flu.  This is a great relief to officials in New York, which requires a two-week quarantine of people coming in from covid hotspots like Florida and the White House.  National Security adviser Robert O'Brien tested positive yesterday.   Hiding data from the CDC and slowing down the testing doesn't seem to work.   Maybe a new magic cure? 

One thing that has given me comfort through our long national nightmare is the knowledge that Jacqueline Onassis did not live to see the White House, on which she worked so hard, re-decorated as a Slovenian bordello.  The tacky gold drapes alone would have put her in the ICU.  Serving junk food to guests in the original Styrofoam -- I can't even.  And now comes the news that the First Escort is turning her attention to the Rose Garden and the house itself.   Maybe leopard-skin upholstery and lava lamps for the bunker?  And why wait until it's almost time to pack?  The press release says she "studied architecture" ("You own big gold tower, Mr. Donald?  OK, we do bouncy-bouncy now") adding, "though she did not receive her degree" (but...but...her visa application says college graduate!).  Here's my theory:  Having paved over Michelle Obama's vegetable garden and put up a parking lot tennis pavilion, she wants to leave an unholy mess for the Bidens to deal with.  Mel, you'll be lucky if we let you keep the taxpayer-funded kidneys.