In hoc agricola conk
Sean Hannity decided to get in on this new "book" craze and came up with Live Free or Die, America (and the World) On the Brink, from the hyperbolic motto of New Hampshire, as a title. Then, for the intellectuals, he tried to repeat it in Latin: "Vivamus vel libero perit Americae." Hilarity ensued when a classics student pointed out that the words "don't make even a lick of sense." They have been changed and Hannity has, I hope, apologized to the nuns who tried to teach him Latin. Now translate ROMANS GO HOME and write it five hundred times.
"November 3, timewise, that's an eternity, frankly, as far as I'm concerned! For Trump, that's eternity!" said Trump, because he had another hour of hallucinatory stream of consciousness unexplored by Jonathan Swan. He repeated the slander about Antifa and its sinister paymaster ("they say Soros"), complained that anti-Trump signs are "made in a high-class printing shop," and predicted that the pandemic "will go away like things go away." Thanks to Fox's Two Foul Balls and a Miss, McEnany can take the day off.
An immense explosion jolted Beirut yesterday, leaving 135 dead and 300,000 homeless. The injured were taken to hospitals which had themselves been badly damaged. It's far from the worst thing in the city's five thousand years, but recovery will be long and difficult. The cause seems to be unsafe storage of nearly three thousand tons of ammonium nitrate, a single truckload of which took out the Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City twenty-five years ago. As offers of assistance poured in from every world capital, only one head of state announced that his "great generals" had assured him it was "a terrible attack." Do I need to name this idiot?
To borrow from Bill Maher -- and I promise not to do it again -- we need some new rules. For example, if you don't attend a man's funeral or even spend two minutes beside his casket, you don't get to express opinions about the mourners. If you deny his importance to millions or their expressions of love and grief, you should shut the fuck right up and stay that way. Still seething because John Lewis stayed away from his sparsely-attended inauguration, Trump went after Barack Obama for the eulogy that brought the church to its feet and will be read in American history books. "I thought it was a terrible speech...it showed this anger there that people don't see, he lost control...that speech was ridiculous." He projects like an IMAX theater, doesn't he? Tell us again how no one has ever done more for the African Americans, you orange verruca.
It seems that not all mail-in voting is corrupt. While actually suing Nevada (Democratic governor, legislature, senators) for expanding mail voting, Trump praised Florida (Republican governor, legislature, senators) for doing it "extremely professionally." Republicans are terrified that his attacks will discourage MAGAts from voting by mail this year, even in Florida, and have begged him to knock it off. Who called this senescent reptile a political genius? As of today the "fake polls" have Biden ahead in Texas, for corndog's sake. (Right on cue, Pence the puppet's puppet began lying about voter fraud in Indiana. The facts are here.)
If you're like me and you ignore all those religious channels on your cable menu, you've probably clicked past EWTN without ever knowing it was any different from The Jim Bakker Show or Peter Popoff Ministries or any other scheme for shearing the flock. But EWTN is the cable outpost of the Catholic Church, where you can join in the rosary, catch a daily mass or pick up some blessed merchandise. ("Our Lady of Perpetual Help Canvas Transfer"? No clue.) And yesterday they were visited by God's Anointed Himself, explaining why Real Catholics should vote for him instead of Joe Biden. Did you know he's not only "pro-life" but he also saved the Second Amendment? After that, it got weird.
Timendi causa est nescire. Be afraid, Donzo.
"November 3, timewise, that's an eternity, frankly, as far as I'm concerned! For Trump, that's eternity!" said Trump, because he had another hour of hallucinatory stream of consciousness unexplored by Jonathan Swan. He repeated the slander about Antifa and its sinister paymaster ("they say Soros"), complained that anti-Trump signs are "made in a high-class printing shop," and predicted that the pandemic "will go away like things go away." Thanks to Fox's Two Foul Balls and a Miss, McEnany can take the day off.
An immense explosion jolted Beirut yesterday, leaving 135 dead and 300,000 homeless. The injured were taken to hospitals which had themselves been badly damaged. It's far from the worst thing in the city's five thousand years, but recovery will be long and difficult. The cause seems to be unsafe storage of nearly three thousand tons of ammonium nitrate, a single truckload of which took out the Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City twenty-five years ago. As offers of assistance poured in from every world capital, only one head of state announced that his "great generals" had assured him it was "a terrible attack." Do I need to name this idiot?
To borrow from Bill Maher -- and I promise not to do it again -- we need some new rules. For example, if you don't attend a man's funeral or even spend two minutes beside his casket, you don't get to express opinions about the mourners. If you deny his importance to millions or their expressions of love and grief, you should shut the fuck right up and stay that way. Still seething because John Lewis stayed away from his sparsely-attended inauguration, Trump went after Barack Obama for the eulogy that brought the church to its feet and will be read in American history books. "I thought it was a terrible speech...it showed this anger there that people don't see, he lost control...that speech was ridiculous." He projects like an IMAX theater, doesn't he? Tell us again how no one has ever done more for the African Americans, you orange verruca.
It seems that not all mail-in voting is corrupt. While actually suing Nevada (Democratic governor, legislature, senators) for expanding mail voting, Trump praised Florida (Republican governor, legislature, senators) for doing it "extremely professionally." Republicans are terrified that his attacks will discourage MAGAts from voting by mail this year, even in Florida, and have begged him to knock it off. Who called this senescent reptile a political genius? As of today the "fake polls" have Biden ahead in Texas, for corndog's sake. (Right on cue, Pence the puppet's puppet began lying about voter fraud in Indiana. The facts are here.)
If you're like me and you ignore all those religious channels on your cable menu, you've probably clicked past EWTN without ever knowing it was any different from The Jim Bakker Show or Peter Popoff Ministries or any other scheme for shearing the flock. But EWTN is the cable outpost of the Catholic Church, where you can join in the rosary, catch a daily mass or pick up some blessed merchandise. ("Our Lady of Perpetual Help Canvas Transfer"? No clue.) And yesterday they were visited by God's Anointed Himself, explaining why Real Catholics should vote for him instead of Joe Biden. Did you know he's not only "pro-life" but he also saved the Second Amendment? After that, it got weird.
Timendi causa est nescire. Be afraid, Donzo.
posted by Buttermilk Sky at 1:02 PM
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