Laughter in the dark
Sometimes I'll be here staring at the screen incredulously, and suddenly a laugh rings out. Where is it coming from? It's mine! I recognize it. And then, you know how it is, I can't stop.
Florida man Matt Gaetz won't get disbarred for being an asshole, because Florida. It all started when he tweeted to Michael Cohen: "I wonder if [your wife] will remain faithful while you're in prison." Maybe I've seen too many movies, because I immediately thought of Tokyo Rose as she is always portrayed in said movies: "Your wives and sweethearts are being unfaithful while you hopelessly struggle against the invincible Japanese Empire." Then she plays a Tommy Dorsey record, which is the only reason Our Boys keep tuning in. Giggling, I open up YouTube and click on "Hawaiian War Chant." Rose would play "Getting Sentimental Over You," but I like the fast stuff, and this has an outrageous solo by Ziggy Elman backed up by Buddy Rich. And pretty soon I've forgotten all about Gaetz and Cohen and the whole fucking twenty-first century.
The Trumpanzee who killed 22 people in El Paso is on suicide watch. This news comes as the New York medical examiner rules Jeffrey Epstein a suicide and the conspiracy theories continue to drop like overripe fruit. It seems Epstein signed his will two days before he resorted to the bedsheet farewell, which certainly sounds like the man had a plan. Will they do a better job of this in Texas, or are the jails there understaffed and overstuffed? It seems like the country with the world's biggest prison population could at least keep them alive. Wait, Sandra Bland died in the Texas lockup, didn't she? After a traffic stop?
Don't think about that. Now it's "Boogie Woogie" with Dorsey and Glenn Miller. There were a lot of trombone-wielding bandleaders, weren't there? Jack Teagarden, Kid Ory, J.J. Johnson, Will Bradley -- that's what I need now, "Down the Road a Piece" in Bradley's unsurpassed version. Certainly unsurpassed by the Rolling Stones, though full marks for effort. I love Ray McKinley's vocal.
Like the great Durante, Trump is always surrounded by assassins, trying to steal the love of the people from him. (I think that's all he took away from Citizen Kane -- that and "buy a gigantic house in Florida.") Former confederates who turn on him like Joe Scarborough and Omarosa inspire particularly hilarious Outbursts of misspelled RAGE!!! Today it's Anthony Scaramucci, who is everywhere promoting his book.* The Mooch was in and out of Trump's employ in record time and is today's Worst Person In the World. (I'm stealing that from Keith Olbermann because he stole it from Bob & Ray.) He and Mark "Appalachian Trail" Sanford are leading what Republican opposition there is, and the hysteria is delightful. Also, the Deep State has infiltrated Fox News, which keeps releasing "FAKE POLLS" showing diminished support for "your favorite president (me)!" and an interest, probably temporary, in gun control. That, and the weather in New Jersey, and the news that most of his Twitter-followers don't really exist, combine to make this a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad vacation for Metamucilini. He can't even enjoy keeping Rashida Tlaib from seeing her grandmother. Haters! (He became a grandfather again yesterday but expressed no interest, as a normal human would.)
Still chuckling at the picture of a Steve King town hall at which exactly two Iowans turned up. Either it's harvest time, or even they have had enough of his racist rapist routine. Sent ten dollars to the guy who almost beat him last time.
The Iranian Revolutionary Guard continues to interfere with shipping, Russia is testing missiles, tensions mount between the nuclear powers that claim Kashmir, the republicans in Northern Ireland are building bombs again, the Italian government is finito, Brazil is accelerating the death of the planet by destroying the Amazon rain forest, and America's foreign initiative is purchasing Greenland from Denmark. So now we're living in a South Park movie directed by Michael Moore. If that doesn't make you laugh, do what I do every day. Hold a mirror in front of your mouth and see if it fogs.
*Scaramucci says he didn't have "a Road to Damascus moment." Trump wants to know what he is doing in Syria.
Florida man Matt Gaetz won't get disbarred for being an asshole, because Florida. It all started when he tweeted to Michael Cohen: "I wonder if [your wife] will remain faithful while you're in prison." Maybe I've seen too many movies, because I immediately thought of Tokyo Rose as she is always portrayed in said movies: "Your wives and sweethearts are being unfaithful while you hopelessly struggle against the invincible Japanese Empire." Then she plays a Tommy Dorsey record, which is the only reason Our Boys keep tuning in. Giggling, I open up YouTube and click on "Hawaiian War Chant." Rose would play "Getting Sentimental Over You," but I like the fast stuff, and this has an outrageous solo by Ziggy Elman backed up by Buddy Rich. And pretty soon I've forgotten all about Gaetz and Cohen and the whole fucking twenty-first century.
The Trumpanzee who killed 22 people in El Paso is on suicide watch. This news comes as the New York medical examiner rules Jeffrey Epstein a suicide and the conspiracy theories continue to drop like overripe fruit. It seems Epstein signed his will two days before he resorted to the bedsheet farewell, which certainly sounds like the man had a plan. Will they do a better job of this in Texas, or are the jails there understaffed and overstuffed? It seems like the country with the world's biggest prison population could at least keep them alive. Wait, Sandra Bland died in the Texas lockup, didn't she? After a traffic stop?
Don't think about that. Now it's "Boogie Woogie" with Dorsey and Glenn Miller. There were a lot of trombone-wielding bandleaders, weren't there? Jack Teagarden, Kid Ory, J.J. Johnson, Will Bradley -- that's what I need now, "Down the Road a Piece" in Bradley's unsurpassed version. Certainly unsurpassed by the Rolling Stones, though full marks for effort. I love Ray McKinley's vocal.
Like the great Durante, Trump is always surrounded by assassins, trying to steal the love of the people from him. (I think that's all he took away from Citizen Kane -- that and "buy a gigantic house in Florida.") Former confederates who turn on him like Joe Scarborough and Omarosa inspire particularly hilarious Outbursts of misspelled RAGE!!! Today it's Anthony Scaramucci, who is everywhere promoting his book.* The Mooch was in and out of Trump's employ in record time and is today's Worst Person In the World. (I'm stealing that from Keith Olbermann because he stole it from Bob & Ray.) He and Mark "Appalachian Trail" Sanford are leading what Republican opposition there is, and the hysteria is delightful. Also, the Deep State has infiltrated Fox News, which keeps releasing "FAKE POLLS" showing diminished support for "your favorite president (me)!" and an interest, probably temporary, in gun control. That, and the weather in New Jersey, and the news that most of his Twitter-followers don't really exist, combine to make this a terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad vacation for Metamucilini. He can't even enjoy keeping Rashida Tlaib from seeing her grandmother. Haters! (He became a grandfather again yesterday but expressed no interest, as a normal human would.)
Still chuckling at the picture of a Steve King town hall at which exactly two Iowans turned up. Either it's harvest time, or even they have had enough of his racist rapist routine. Sent ten dollars to the guy who almost beat him last time.
The Iranian Revolutionary Guard continues to interfere with shipping, Russia is testing missiles, tensions mount between the nuclear powers that claim Kashmir, the republicans in Northern Ireland are building bombs again, the Italian government is finito, Brazil is accelerating the death of the planet by destroying the Amazon rain forest, and America's foreign initiative is purchasing Greenland from Denmark. So now we're living in a South Park movie directed by Michael Moore. If that doesn't make you laugh, do what I do every day. Hold a mirror in front of your mouth and see if it fogs.
*Scaramucci says he didn't have "a Road to Damascus moment." Trump wants to know what he is doing in Syria.
posted by Buttermilk Sky at 12:48 PM
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