Whiplash
My neck hurts. I think it's the way the news keeps snapping my head back and to the left.
The House has passed two bills this year to make it a little harder for patriotic Americans to buy military-type weapons, but of course they died in the Senate. And now the Senate would just love to take them up and filibuster debate them for a while, but you know what? Moscow Mitch tripped over an empty Jim Beam bottle and busted up his shoulder, and nobody else knows where he keeps the stuff the Speaker sends over. See, he's got this big old roll-top desk and his own system, which nobody else can figure out. It's a quandary, all right. So, no gun legislation this year!
Besides, it's too soon to politicize all the murders of the last week. No, wait a second...now it's too late. But plenty of people have already offered their expertise, along with thoughts and prayers for the people of El Paso and Toledo. (Trump thinks Dayton is Toledo. Just nod and smile.) The consensus is that it's mental illness and video games, phenomena which don't exist in any other country except all of Europe and Asia. And lots of Africa, and probably Australia and New Zealand. I think maybe Canada. Definitely Central America, which is why they're rapists and murderers, especially the Mexicans.
The "Toledo" shooting remains mysterious because police killed the shooter less than a minute after he opened fire (but not before he had murdered his sister and eight other people and wounded 27 non-family members. Reports are coming in about authorities visiting his high school to investigate his lists of boys he wanted to kill and girls he wanted to rape, so probably just another male who couldn't get a date. The El Paso killer, on the other hand, was very clear about his intention of stemming the "invasion" Trump has been ranting about for over a year. And really, it's not about the gun or the pockets bulging with ammunition, it's about the media and the lack of school prayer and the gay marriage and the [your excuse here and don't say "chemtrails," all right?]. Above all, it's not about the xenophobic racism.
The FBI has apparently decided to ignore their Justice Department overlords and call the El Paso murders an act of domestic terrorism, but we all know without having to watch Sean Hannity that they're part of the Deep State plotting to overthrow the government and make Obama (or Hillary, or Buttigieg) dictator for life. And the guys with the press-passes in the bands of their fedoras are thrusting microphones at every politician who hasn't gone to ground and asking, "Is Trump a racist?" as if the idea just popped into their heads. To which Beto O'Rourke had the only possible response.
After Trump stumbled through some Teleprompted platitudes from Stephen "Thesaurus" Miller, Barack Obama showed how to do it right.
And the fat fuck is still screaming for WALL. I'm through. I have to go now.
The House has passed two bills this year to make it a little harder for patriotic Americans to buy military-type weapons, but of course they died in the Senate. And now the Senate would just love to take them up and
Besides, it's too soon to politicize all the murders of the last week. No, wait a second...now it's too late. But plenty of people have already offered their expertise, along with thoughts and prayers for the people of El Paso and Toledo. (Trump thinks Dayton is Toledo. Just nod and smile.) The consensus is that it's mental illness and video games, phenomena which don't exist in any other country except all of Europe and Asia. And lots of Africa, and probably Australia and New Zealand. I think maybe Canada. Definitely Central America, which is why they're rapists and murderers, especially the Mexicans.
The "Toledo" shooting remains mysterious because police killed the shooter less than a minute after he opened fire (but not before he had murdered his sister and eight other people and wounded 27 non-family members. Reports are coming in about authorities visiting his high school to investigate his lists of boys he wanted to kill and girls he wanted to rape, so probably just another male who couldn't get a date. The El Paso killer, on the other hand, was very clear about his intention of stemming the "invasion" Trump has been ranting about for over a year. And really, it's not about the gun or the pockets bulging with ammunition, it's about the media and the lack of school prayer and the gay marriage and the [your excuse here and don't say "chemtrails," all right?]. Above all, it's not about the xenophobic racism.
The FBI has apparently decided to ignore their Justice Department overlords and call the El Paso murders an act of domestic terrorism, but we all know without having to watch Sean Hannity that they're part of the Deep State plotting to overthrow the government and make Obama (or Hillary, or Buttigieg) dictator for life. And the guys with the press-passes in the bands of their fedoras are thrusting microphones at every politician who hasn't gone to ground and asking, "Is Trump a racist?" as if the idea just popped into their heads. To which Beto O'Rourke had the only possible response.
After Trump stumbled through some Teleprompted platitudes from Stephen "Thesaurus" Miller, Barack Obama showed how to do it right.
And the fat fuck is still screaming for WALL. I'm through. I have to go now.
posted by Buttermilk Sky at 2:46 PM
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