Anglo-Saxon gratitude

It's not enough to act like a racist, talk like a racist, encourage racism in others and generally damage as many people as you can.  Those you slander, belittle and lie about must also be grateful.

Self-board-certified ophthalmologist and locally-hated neighbor Rand Paul has taken over the job of trashing Ilhan Omar, leaving totally-not-racist Trump more time to trash Elijah Cummings, Al Sharpton and Baltimore.  Paul whined that "we" fed and clothed Omar when she was brought here at age ten, and she repays "us" by dumping on America.  Paul has never been to Somalia but he knows what's wrong with it -- no capitalism and no "God-given rights guaranteed in a constitution" -- and he's willing to send her there so she'll be properly grateful to the United States, assuming he lets her back in some day.   Omar -- and as a world-class grouch may I say I admire her sense of humor -- responded by quoting Tom Arnold to the effect that he understood why the guy next door decided he had to cold-cock Paul.  (He went to jail.  It was probably worth it.)  This naturally set off more whining.  Now the scary Muslim is threatening a senator's life!  Should we send her back, lock her
up, or just kill her (as several Louisiana law enforcement officers proposed doing last week)?

Meanwhile, Trump has been busy earning gratitude.  He reports, "The African-American community is so thankful.  They've called me and said finally someone is telling the truth."  Baltimore is indeed a shithole, largely because of absentee slumlords like Jared Kushner.  If only there was someone at the Department of Housing and Urban Development who grew up in the projects and was in a position to improve the housing of...what?  Who?  Never mind.  The important thing is the gratitude finally being lavished on the most harassed president of all time.  They also love that he's working night and day to free A$AP Rocky, who is apparently a hip-hop artiste languishing in a Swedish dungeon on an assault charge.  (Normally the American ambassador to Sweden would deal with this, but Trump never got around to appointing one.  It's a shithole country, they don't even rake their forests.)

Now if those people in Flint would stop complaining about their poisoned water.  They should be grateful to have indoor plumbing.