One thing we can agree on
One thing is certain: Jeffrey Epstein is dead.
He committed suicide in his cell at the Manhattan Correctional Center.
He was on suicide watch because he tried to kill himself before.
He wasn't on suicide watch.
He committed suicide because one of his accusers said he trafficked her to a surprising assortment of well-known men, including George Mitchell, Bill Richardson, Bill Clinton and Prince Andrew. She claims he recruited her at some place in Florida called Mar-a-Lago.
He was killed because she said he recruited her at some place in Florida called Mar-a-Lago.
He was killed on orders from Letitia James, the New York Attorney General.
He was killed by the vast and sinister Clinton Black Hand, just like Vincent Foster and Seth Rich and John McCain and Antonin Scalia and Tupac Shakur. Possibly Dale Earnhardt.
He was killed by MI5, like Princess Diana.
He was killed by the real killers of Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman. O.J. is on their trail.
He definitely did not hang himself using the simple means of a towel and a door, like Anthony Bourdain and Robin Williams.
Q.
He's not dead. He was sneaked out of jail in a body bag and is now in the Seychelles/Marianas/Bronx.
He never existed.
Prince Andrew?
He committed suicide in his cell at the Manhattan Correctional Center.
He was on suicide watch because he tried to kill himself before.
He wasn't on suicide watch.
He committed suicide because one of his accusers said he trafficked her to a surprising assortment of well-known men, including George Mitchell, Bill Richardson, Bill Clinton and Prince Andrew. She claims he recruited her at some place in Florida called Mar-a-Lago.
He was killed because she said he recruited her at some place in Florida called Mar-a-Lago.
He was killed on orders from Letitia James, the New York Attorney General.
He was killed by the vast and sinister Clinton Black Hand, just like Vincent Foster and Seth Rich and John McCain and Antonin Scalia and Tupac Shakur. Possibly Dale Earnhardt.
He was killed by MI5, like Princess Diana.
He was killed by the real killers of Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman. O.J. is on their trail.
He definitely did not hang himself using the simple means of a towel and a door, like Anthony Bourdain and Robin Williams.
Q.
He's not dead. He was sneaked out of jail in a body bag and is now in the Seychelles/Marianas/Bronx.
He never existed.
Prince Andrew?
posted by Buttermilk Sky at 10:55 AM
1 Comments:
He has been flown to a secret hideaway in the Seychelles, where he continues to do the evil bidding of Hillary. He cannot be found because the law enforcement authorities charged with finding him are part of the Deep State, and the Deep State reports to Hillary, except when it is reporting to Bernie Sanders and a cabal of atheist Mexican abortionists and China-trained crisis actors.
Even as you read this, deep state bureaucrats are rounding up innocent 14 year old girls and shipping them to the Seychelles for his perverted pleasures. It is said — although this part, to be absolutely honest, has not been proven — that when he is finished with the girls he has them killed and uses their DNA and organs to make an exact copy of his dead body, to be displayed at a latter date to throw truth-seekers off the scent. What we do know is that, as long as there are tellers of the truth like Alex Jones, he will not die and will not be permitted to die. The life-giving hormones and precious bodily fluids of his victims are keeping him eternally young. I mean the parts that aren't being used to make a replica of his body.
Also, he has a pizzeria in his basement. Connect the dots.
Yours very crankily,
The New York Crank
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