Thursday, September 21, 2017

Comedy today

The natural disasters keep on coming, reminding us of Kurt Vonnegut's suggestion that the planet has identified humans as a disease and is activating its immune system to destroy us.  Earthquakes in Mexico, hurricanes in the Caribbean, floods and drought-fed wildfires everywhere (even Greenland!), all to kill a few hundred of this pestilential species -- it seems inefficient, but the pace may pick up.  Factor in, for example, the Tutsi-Hutu conflict in Rwanda brought about by a shortage of arable land, or the Iraqis driven off their farms by drought, and you begin to see the dimensions of future catastrophe.  No wonder the credulous have scheduled their latest "Rapture" some forty-eight hours from now.  ("We must get a winner one day." -- Beyond the Fringe)

So we want to, need to laugh.  And the opportunities are so many.  Not the rueful laughter you try to voice when you read that Paul Manafort, about to be the first indicted Trumpanzee, is planning to do a bunk and may head for Kurdish Iraq.  Or the snort of glee that rises in your throat when you hear that the Republican National Committee has already spent $250,000 on just the Russia-related legal bills of Deadbeat Donnie.   Or the smile you're smiling now when I tell you that Sean Spicer's appearance at the Emmy show has not translated into an offer to be a well-paid liar even at Fox (which has enough) or CNN (which never seems to think it has enough).  Spicey has been hired as a "fellow" of the Kennedy Institute of Politics at Harvard, which should strip the place of all credibility, assuming it has any.  No, we want to bust a gut, slap a thigh, and spew beverage all over our keyboards.  So...

Alabama is electing a senator to replace Jefferson Bedford Forrest Braxton Stonewall Blanche DuBois Sessions.  So what?  So the contenders are Roy "Ten Commandments" Moore and Luther "You Can't Make Up This Name" Strange.  Strange has the support of Donald Trump, while Steve Bannon has thrown the awesome power of Breitbart behind Moore.  Kind of like Der Sturmer endorsing Ernst Roehm over Hitler.  Can't wait.  Really, I'm tingling.

Tucker Carlson (the other Sean Hannity) interviewed a California Wiccan named Amanda Yates Garcia, who informed him that several of her co-religionists have been casting "binding spells" on Trump to prevent him from fucking up the country and/or blowing up a substantial portion of Asia.  "Is this legal?" Carlson demanded.  "Can you run around casting spells on...Are you allowed to cast spells on people?  Is there any kind of federal regulation on this?"  Yes.  Yes, there is.  It's the Constitution thingy which says "Congress shall make no law respecting...freedom of religion..."  It's just as legal as Franklin Graham praying for Trump to fuck up the country, or Pope Francis or Rev. William Barber praying for him to fall in a septic tank and drown.  (They probably don't.)  I think the point, Tucker, is that the prayers and the spells are equally futile.  Also, that the Fox audience thinks witches are scary and should be burned.  Do you?

After entertaining the United Nations with his comedy stylings on North Korea, socialism and sundry other issues, Trump met with African leaders and praised the economic health of their countries, which is enabling "many of my friends" to make fortunes there.  (If he's going to keep calling Kim Jong-un "Rocket Man," maybe they will call him "King Leopold.")  He named some of his favorites, including "Nambia," to all but universal merriment.  Nambia, Zambia, Gambia, who can keep them all straight even when reading off a script?  Meanwhile FPOTUS Melania spoke to a gathering of leader-wives and reiterated her opposition to cyber-bullying.  And there was much suppressing of laughter, for all had seen her husband's idea of twitter fun, especially the Hillary-golf ball gag.  And the Trump Train crashing into CNN, just like those ISIS and white-nationalist drivers in their SUVs.  But nobody laughed, for they could see by her dress that the poor woman is colorblind.

Those who follow the Fed will perhaps be interested in the rumor that Trump plans to fire its chair, Janet Yellen.  Yellen has no partisan views of which I am aware, and has presided over a steady improvement in the economy, but she is A Woman, and the only position for women in Trumpland is prone.  (Props to the original Black Panther Party.)  All right, not so funny.

I've written elsewhere about the need for comedians in these dark times, and over at Bill Moyers's place, Neal Gabler takes up the call.  Here's the money quote:  "You can't 'Jay Leno' Donald Trump without seeming as if you had lost your own moral bearings.  You need to destroy him.  It is the only decent thing to do.  And comics seem to be the only ones who can do it."  Read the whole thing: 

http://billmoyers.com/story/emmys-sean-spicer-that-joke-isnt-funny-anymore/

Is this legal?  Can you say "You need to destroy him"?  Shouldn't Gabler and Moyers and all their readers be investigated by the Secret Service?  And put on a list?  And have "tapps" put on their phones?  And their children/grandchildren followed and harassed?  And...Yeah, calm down.  I'm almost certain he means "destroy" with laughter, as Obama did at that White House Correspondents dinner.  Nobody wants Trump to fall in a septic tank and drown.  Right?

(crickets)



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