Fractured Friday
"What a crowd! What a turnout!" has officially replaced "Heck of a job, Brownie!" as the most purblind, inane, insulting presidential response to a natural disaster. Congratulations, Mr. Bush.
Following the example of countless movie stars, sports figures and regular rich folks, Trump has pledged a million dollars to Hurricane Harvey relief. This elicited guffaws from the people at Superstorm Sandy relief, who are still awaiting a check from the short-fingered vulgarian. The Buttermilk Sky Organization predicts that he will delegate the job to Eric, who will organize a golf tournament and, after expenses and fees, Texas will be lucky to see $25,000.
Last year at a traffic stop in leafy Cobb County, Georgia, Lt. Greg Abbott was recorded -- by his own dashcam -- reassuring a woman that she could safely lower her hands because "Remember, we only kill black people." He is currently on administrative leave. I know what you're thinking: Why is a lieutenant making traffic stops? And why has he been punished for telling the truth? And when are these cops going to get the hang of the whole camera/audio deal? Last month it was Baltimore police recording themselves planting drug "evidence." When fingerprinting became a standard crime-fighting tool over a century ago, how long did it take for ne'er-do-wells to start wearing gloves? Have to keep up with the technology, guys.
On Sunday, when most of us were trying to take in the scope of the Houston disaster, Trump was tweeting a plug for David Clarke's book (I don't know the title, look around on Amazon). I guess sales really took off, because by mid-week Clarke was able to quit his day job as sheriff of Milwaukee. There's talk of a movie starring Kanye. (Not really.) And there are rumors that the sheriff will join the Trump regime. Nearly eight months in, he can have his pick of positions. Career diplomats are fleeing State like it's on fire, and hundreds of jobs were never filled in the first place. Grover Norquist thinks he died and went to heaven, or at least Rancho Reagan. And with the departure of Dr. Gorka and Mr. Bannon, putatively helped along by General Kelly's foot, the White House is a big, empty, lonely dump.
So I guess you heard about the coup? It was on Breitbart, so you know it's definitely not lamestream media fake news. Mike "Pizzagate" Cernovich broke the story that Trump is "under house arrest," held incommunicado from John Bolton and others. (They only let him out to travel to Arizona, Texas, Missouri, and various golf properties, and only allow him to tweet whatever comes into his head. It's like the gulag but with two scoops of ice cream every night.) Once again it's the work of the sinister Kelly; Cernovich has looked into his eyes and is convinced he's some sort of demon or alien. (Hey, Mike, have you ever tried to stare down a Marine? I don't recommend it.) Wait! That's not Trump. It's Replicant Trump!
If you ordered the $40 USA hat Trump was modeling in Texas, you probably feel like a jerk. Walmart has them for $9.99. Sorry, no returns or refunds at debasethepresidency.com.
Notice: October 10, 2017, is the hundredth birthday of Thelonious Monk. I expect suggestions and recommendations. For example, since he was born in North Carolina, this would be a good time to re-name Fort Bragg.
Following the example of countless movie stars, sports figures and regular rich folks, Trump has pledged a million dollars to Hurricane Harvey relief. This elicited guffaws from the people at Superstorm Sandy relief, who are still awaiting a check from the short-fingered vulgarian. The Buttermilk Sky Organization predicts that he will delegate the job to Eric, who will organize a golf tournament and, after expenses and fees, Texas will be lucky to see $25,000.
Last year at a traffic stop in leafy Cobb County, Georgia, Lt. Greg Abbott was recorded -- by his own dashcam -- reassuring a woman that she could safely lower her hands because "Remember, we only kill black people." He is currently on administrative leave. I know what you're thinking: Why is a lieutenant making traffic stops? And why has he been punished for telling the truth? And when are these cops going to get the hang of the whole camera/audio deal? Last month it was Baltimore police recording themselves planting drug "evidence." When fingerprinting became a standard crime-fighting tool over a century ago, how long did it take for ne'er-do-wells to start wearing gloves? Have to keep up with the technology, guys.
On Sunday, when most of us were trying to take in the scope of the Houston disaster, Trump was tweeting a plug for David Clarke's book (I don't know the title, look around on Amazon). I guess sales really took off, because by mid-week Clarke was able to quit his day job as sheriff of Milwaukee. There's talk of a movie starring Kanye. (Not really.) And there are rumors that the sheriff will join the Trump regime. Nearly eight months in, he can have his pick of positions. Career diplomats are fleeing State like it's on fire, and hundreds of jobs were never filled in the first place. Grover Norquist thinks he died and went to heaven, or at least Rancho Reagan. And with the departure of Dr. Gorka and Mr. Bannon, putatively helped along by General Kelly's foot, the White House is a big, empty, lonely dump.
So I guess you heard about the coup? It was on Breitbart, so you know it's definitely not lamestream media fake news. Mike "Pizzagate" Cernovich broke the story that Trump is "under house arrest," held incommunicado from John Bolton and others. (They only let him out to travel to Arizona, Texas, Missouri, and various golf properties, and only allow him to tweet whatever comes into his head. It's like the gulag but with two scoops of ice cream every night.) Once again it's the work of the sinister Kelly; Cernovich has looked into his eyes and is convinced he's some sort of demon or alien. (Hey, Mike, have you ever tried to stare down a Marine? I don't recommend it.) Wait! That's not Trump. It's Replicant Trump!
If you ordered the $40 USA hat Trump was modeling in Texas, you probably feel like a jerk. Walmart has them for $9.99. Sorry, no returns or refunds at debasethepresidency.com.
Notice: October 10, 2017, is the hundredth birthday of Thelonious Monk. I expect suggestions and recommendations. For example, since he was born in North Carolina, this would be a good time to re-name Fort Bragg.
posted by Buttermilk Sky at 2:32 PM
1 Comments:
Of all the Monk performances I've heard--almost all the recordings, plus hearing him at the Five Spot in 1959 and some Philadelphia club about ten years later--the most impressive is the Carnegie Hall concert with John Coltrane. They'd been working together at the Five Spot for several months and had reached a level of reciprocal intuition that I don't think anybody else ever achieved; much as I like Johnny Griffin, it's probably worth remembering that MOnk usually laid out during his solos, and good as Charlie Rouse was, he never had Coltrane's inventiveness or passion.
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