Friday, bloody Friday
I thought I was having a bad day. But there's always someone worse off than yourself.
Eighteen Londoners who were probably going to work wound up at the hospital instead, after a poorly-made bomb went off in the Underground. None of the injuries appears life-threatening, which is more than you can say for the American response: "Another attack in London by a loser terrorist. These are sick and demented people who were in the sights of Scotland Yard. Must be proactive!" Guess whose Twitter account that came from. Hint: Someone with access to British intelligence. Whose national security adviser, H.R. McMaster, had to tell the press that "in the sights of Scotland Yard" doesn't mean what it appears to mean. Who thinks "loser" is a crusher that will bring any terrorist to his knees. Who went on, "The internet is their main recruitment tool which we must cut off & use better!" Who thinks "the internet" is something you switch on and off like a neon sign. An idiot. An idiot with free advice for a nation which has been dealing with terrorism since Guy Fawkes.
The family of Anthony Lamar Smith had a terrible day. Judge Timothy Wilson ruled that former St. Louis police officer Jason Stockley was being "ambiguous" when he said, "We're going to kill this motherfucker" and proceeded to do so. He also planted a gun on Smith, unsuccessfully, after a three-mile car chase back in 2011. "People say all kinds of things in the heat of the moment, or while in stressful situations," the judge soothed. Not guilty of murder. As I type, a stressful situation is developing, with protesters gathering in the streets of St. Louis. If I were Judge Wilson, I would unambiguously leave town.
The people of the Virgin Islands are having another in a series of awful days, with little food, water or gas, homes destroyed and limited communication. These are the islands ruled by Britain, France, the Netherlands and the United States. What's happening in Haiti and the Dominican Republic I don't even want to think about. The Marriott people sent a ship to St. Thomas to ferry vacationers to Puerto Rico, where they could get flights home. They refused to take anyone not registered at a Marriott hotel. Maybe Trump is not the sleaziest hotelkeeper on earth.
Japan had a bad day yesterday, as another North Korean missile streaked through its airspace. People were told to "shelter in place," which is never comforting, until the thing landed harmlessly in the Pacific. This is no way to live. Time for another round of "fire and fury" threats, which have been so effective in the past.
The National Football League is panicking! Michael Moore has promised a boycott until some team hires Colin Kaepernick. Not likely to make much of a dent in revenues, but another opportunity for Moore to call attention to himself. I predict that by the first of October, at least one quarterback will be banged up and his team will sign Kaepernick, so let's all take a deep breath and relax. If not, there's always the CFL -- they probably wouldn't care if he picked his nose during "Oh Canada."
Poor Donald is having another bad day. Yesterday was good. Yesterday he made Melania put on flats and accompany him to Naples and Fort Myers, where he basked in the love and made with the sandwiches.* He even touched a dog. "We're going to see some of the folks and make sure they're happy," he told reporters, because who needs a place to live when you've seen the USA hat up close? But that was yesterday. Today that May woman complained about his tweets, and Jeff Sessions (who is "an idiot") still won't resign, and people are burning their MAGA hats over his ever-changing positions on The Wall and the illegals, and Ann Coulter, author of In Trump We Trust, is calling for impeachment. According to one intimate, it's finally dawning on him that "People really fucking hate me!"
Chuck Schumer gets it. "He likes us," he was heard to say near a microphone. That's it, really. No policies, positions or politics, just...emotion. Anyone who tells the world's oldest toddler that he's really smart and tough and good-looking is a high quality person and a friend -- Schumer, Putin, Arpaio, Flynn (pere et fils), Franklin Graham, Julian Assange, Ted Nugent, King Salman (who gave him a closetful of cool presents), David Duke, that guy with the "Blacks For Trump" sign. They can have anything they want: a pardon, some military hardware, a short-term debt ceiling, anti-LGBT rules, can I get you some beautiful chocolate cake? Ryan and McConnell thought they were enacting a Republican agenda, but Donald couldn't care less. No cake for them. They won't get rid of Mueller or stop all the investigations. They are bad.
We are at the mercy of a mean widdle boy. That's a bloody Friday, every day.
*Who the hell wears a jacket in Florida? People are dying from the heat and he's all buttoned up. This alone should trigger the Twenty-fifth. Fat guys need to know that a jacket does not make you look thin. It makes you look fat, sweaty and deranged.
.
Eighteen Londoners who were probably going to work wound up at the hospital instead, after a poorly-made bomb went off in the Underground. None of the injuries appears life-threatening, which is more than you can say for the American response: "Another attack in London by a loser terrorist. These are sick and demented people who were in the sights of Scotland Yard. Must be proactive!" Guess whose Twitter account that came from. Hint: Someone with access to British intelligence. Whose national security adviser, H.R. McMaster, had to tell the press that "in the sights of Scotland Yard" doesn't mean what it appears to mean. Who thinks "loser" is a crusher that will bring any terrorist to his knees. Who went on, "The internet is their main recruitment tool which we must cut off & use better!" Who thinks "the internet" is something you switch on and off like a neon sign. An idiot. An idiot with free advice for a nation which has been dealing with terrorism since Guy Fawkes.
The family of Anthony Lamar Smith had a terrible day. Judge Timothy Wilson ruled that former St. Louis police officer Jason Stockley was being "ambiguous" when he said, "We're going to kill this motherfucker" and proceeded to do so. He also planted a gun on Smith, unsuccessfully, after a three-mile car chase back in 2011. "People say all kinds of things in the heat of the moment, or while in stressful situations," the judge soothed. Not guilty of murder. As I type, a stressful situation is developing, with protesters gathering in the streets of St. Louis. If I were Judge Wilson, I would unambiguously leave town.
The people of the Virgin Islands are having another in a series of awful days, with little food, water or gas, homes destroyed and limited communication. These are the islands ruled by Britain, France, the Netherlands and the United States. What's happening in Haiti and the Dominican Republic I don't even want to think about. The Marriott people sent a ship to St. Thomas to ferry vacationers to Puerto Rico, where they could get flights home. They refused to take anyone not registered at a Marriott hotel. Maybe Trump is not the sleaziest hotelkeeper on earth.
Japan had a bad day yesterday, as another North Korean missile streaked through its airspace. People were told to "shelter in place," which is never comforting, until the thing landed harmlessly in the Pacific. This is no way to live. Time for another round of "fire and fury" threats, which have been so effective in the past.
The National Football League is panicking! Michael Moore has promised a boycott until some team hires Colin Kaepernick. Not likely to make much of a dent in revenues, but another opportunity for Moore to call attention to himself. I predict that by the first of October, at least one quarterback will be banged up and his team will sign Kaepernick, so let's all take a deep breath and relax. If not, there's always the CFL -- they probably wouldn't care if he picked his nose during "Oh Canada."
Poor Donald is having another bad day. Yesterday was good. Yesterday he made Melania put on flats and accompany him to Naples and Fort Myers, where he basked in the love and made with the sandwiches.* He even touched a dog. "We're going to see some of the folks and make sure they're happy," he told reporters, because who needs a place to live when you've seen the USA hat up close? But that was yesterday. Today that May woman complained about his tweets, and Jeff Sessions (who is "an idiot") still won't resign, and people are burning their MAGA hats over his ever-changing positions on The Wall and the illegals, and Ann Coulter, author of In Trump We Trust, is calling for impeachment. According to one intimate, it's finally dawning on him that "People really fucking hate me!"
Chuck Schumer gets it. "He likes us," he was heard to say near a microphone. That's it, really. No policies, positions or politics, just...emotion. Anyone who tells the world's oldest toddler that he's really smart and tough and good-looking is a high quality person and a friend -- Schumer, Putin, Arpaio, Flynn (pere et fils), Franklin Graham, Julian Assange, Ted Nugent, King Salman (who gave him a closetful of cool presents), David Duke, that guy with the "Blacks For Trump" sign. They can have anything they want: a pardon, some military hardware, a short-term debt ceiling, anti-LGBT rules, can I get you some beautiful chocolate cake? Ryan and McConnell thought they were enacting a Republican agenda, but Donald couldn't care less. No cake for them. They won't get rid of Mueller or stop all the investigations. They are bad.
We are at the mercy of a mean widdle boy. That's a bloody Friday, every day.
*Who the hell wears a jacket in Florida? People are dying from the heat and he's all buttoned up. This alone should trigger the Twenty-fifth. Fat guys need to know that a jacket does not make you look thin. It makes you look fat, sweaty and deranged.
.
posted by Buttermilk Sky at 1:44 PM
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