What is the law? Are we not men?

 

Molly Ivins's birthday is not until August but she got an early gift Saturday when the Texas legislature, which is slightly redder than the surface of Mars, voted 121-23 to impeach attorney general Ken Paxton in the eighth year of his criminal indictment for everything from stealing a pen to taking bribes.  They waited until the leg (as she called it) was about to recess for over a year, so it's not clear when his trial will take place, but dayum, it's a day no one expected to see.  Trump and Cruz are outraged, so that's fun, too.  Paxton responded by branding the speaker, Dade Phelan, a liberal drunk.  There's going to be some impressive jurispruding here, you bet.  Who's bringing the barbecue-flavor popcorn?

If you're thinking Texas's chief law enforcement official has a novel approach to his job, you haven't been paying attention to James Comer of the House Overlook Committee.  Comer decided to start a rumor that Joe Biden took a $5 million bribe from someone while he was vice-president and then challenge the FBI to confirm or deny it.  To prove his seriousness he plans to charge Director Christopher Wray with contempt for failing to produce the document which will prove this just because it does not exist.  (See Trump v. Raffensperger, "Find me 11,780 votes," 2020.)  So far the only crime of which the president is unquestionably guilty is being the father of Hunter Biden, and even Margie Greene doesn't think that's an impeachable offense.  Not like letting those billions of illegals cross the southern border.  And the search for the missing whistleblower goes on.

Another waste of House space, Glenn Grothman (R-WI) arose during debate over the debt limit to point out the real problem with our judiciary:  not enough straight white male judges.  Glenn's done the math (or an intern did) and reports that out of 97 federal judges appointed in the past two years, only five were "white guys" and two of those were gay so they don't count.  A personal injury lawyer named Max Kennerly, who tweets on legal matter, dug a little deeper and reports that the totals are:  779 white men, 63 Black women currently on the federal bench (no stats on their orientation).  It's no wonder white men like Kyle Rittenhouse keep getting a raw deal.

Naomi Pena Villasano describes herself as a "two hundred percenter:  100 percent Mexican and 100 percent American," and she wanted to wear this scarf at her graduation from a rural Colorado high school.  The school district says no and was upheld by Judge Nina Y. Wang, even though clothing has long been established as a form of free speech protected by the First Amendment.  An attorney for the Garfield County School District claims it could open the door to "offensive material."  The governmental obsession with how people dress remains a weirdly fraught matter.  

According to Business Insider Jayson Boebert was "drinking beer and cleaning a gun" when he was served with divorce papers on behalf of the eminent Congresswoman.  An affidavit from the process server says, "He started yelling and using profanities...I told him I was leaving the documents on the chair outside of the door, he closed the door then let the dogs out."  Boebert says he thought it was "some crazy leftwing person coming to my house again."  The gentlelady (as House rules demand she be called) frequently preaches about Christian marriage ("If you start chasing Jesus with everything that you have, I promise you your husband will chase you chasing Jesus").  Thus the love affair that began when sixteen-year-old Lauren Opal Roberts saw Jayson exposing himself in front of a bowling alley comes to its sad end.  Now she has more time to accuse Joe Biden of muzzling free speech by denouncing antisemitism.  And chase Jesus.

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In which they serve...White Gladis and her gang of orcas have attacked more than 250 boats in the Straits of Gibraltar, sinking three.  The Royal Navy is fighting back by sprinkling sand in the water and having sailors bang on pots to confuse the killer whales' sonar.  This makes it hard for them to identify and destroy a vessel's rudder.  Horatio Nelson, who won a significant battle in the neighborhood in 1805, would be impressed.