The new normal

 

I wish we had an attorney general like Janet Reno today.

That's probably callous but I never did like religious fanatics, especially the heavily armed kind.   A country that wants to be taken seriously can't negotiate with any terrorists, whether the Branch Davidian, the Taliban or the Barker gang.  I think this particular anniversary would have passed unnoticed outside the right-wing podcasts had Trump not decided to incorporate anti-government violence into his latest campaign.  He feels safe in Texas.  The attorney general has been under criminal indictment for years but no one can touch him.  Basically, it's a state in anarchy.

It was a stellar lineup.  Mike Lindell represented the clinically insane, Robert Jeffress the evangelicals, Ted Nugent the one-hit has-beens (one-term Donnie can identify, man), Dan Patrick the state government and the comedy team of Gaetz & Greene the Congressional MAGA caucus.  

The Waco cult must have absorbed many an apocalyptic sermon thirty years ago, and Trump was happy to pick up where David Koresh left off.  "Either we surrender to the demonic forces abolishing and demolishing...our country, or we defeat them in a landslide on November 5, 2024.  Either the deep state destroys America or we destroy the deep state."  Just ordinary political discourse, and at least one worshipper was ready to go:  "If people really loved this country, 50,000 people would go take over the White House and say no more of this," said Will Montfort of Bryant, Texas.  Karey Cottress, a refugee from California, says Ventura has been taken over by Antifa and BLM, who are poisoning the dogs of conservatives.  (Someone in the sheriff's office told her.)  Steve Harris, a "retired statistics professor," says American has been "hijacked."  He refused to be more specific:  "Either you know or you don't."  There was even music, including Trump and the Gulag Chorus causing big, strong men to have tears in their eyes, and Nugent's "Star-Spangled Banner" making them all forget Jimi Hendrix.

Trump also managed to work in insults to Stormy Daniels, Ron DeSantis, the transgendered, Alvin Bragg and Michael Cohen -- nothing new there -- before chowing down on his favorite junk food and assuring reporters, "They've already dropped the case, from what I've heard."  "Don't ask me any more questions," he snarled.  Of course, he'd shrivel like a rose in the desert if the media began to ignore him.  He praised Xi Jinping and Putin, with whom he claims to be near a settlement of the special action or territorial dispute or whatever they're calling it today.  

Ted Nugent is whining that he wants a refund:  "I didn't authorize giving our military hardware to the Taliban."  He probably should have taken it up with Trump in 2020, when these two worked out the withdrawal deal:

Yes, it's Mike Pompeo and Mullah Abdul Ghani Baradar, now the Taliban boss of Afghanistan.  Would it have killed you to add, "And give Nugent his money back," Mike?  Not to mention the proportionate repayments owed to people who pay serious taxes because they still have careers (Beyonce, Springsteen, Taylor Swift, Miley Cyrus, etc.).

Like a busted Timex, Trump was right about one thing:  Ron DeSantis is stumbling like a drunk marathoner.  The interview with Piers Morgan may be the biggest one-on-one disaster since Prince Andrew talked to Emily Maitlis.  Asked where he was on 9/11, the Governissimo responded, "I think I'd just graduated college and I didn't have a care in the world and all of a sudden, boom!  You know, it happened."  Al Qaeda are such buzzkills.  It was a beautiful day in New York, too, and we couldn't enjoy it.  All the sirens, the billowing smoke, the dead, the missing...Say this for Ron, at least he didn't describe how he rushed to the scene with a whole crew, how he went to hundreds of memorial services, how he congratulated himself on now owning the tallest building below 34th Street.  He's an empty sack that lacks the imagination even to dream up colorful lies.

Speaking of the soulless, prior to the Armageddon Hoedown Margie Greene was at the DC jail claiming again that the January 6 rioters are political prisoners and promising to impeach all the judges who put them there.  Last August she was raving about impeaching Merrick Garland and that hasn't happened, either.  I do not think the word "impeach" means what she thinks it means, but evidently it impresses some voters in the Peach State.

If Trump has a rival for the title "Worst Businessman of the 20th/21st Centuries" it has to be Elon Musk.  According to a leaked memo to his staff, Twitter has lost $20 billion and is worth half what he paid for it.  All he had to do was leave it alone.  I'll repeat that.  All he had to do...