This just in

 The International Court of Criminal Justice has issued an arrest warrant for Vladimir Putin on just one of his provable crimes, abducting and deporting hundreds of Ukrainian children.  It's pretty meaningless unless he has a dacha in The Hague, but it's also a quiet rebuke to the United States, which has yet to indict Trump on any charge including the abduction of children at the Mexican border, some of them still missing.  Maybe it's finally time we joined the ICC.

 

 This is the president of Mexico, Manuel Lopez Obrador, demonstrating what's wrong with American families.  Apparently we don't hug our kids enough and that's why they're dying from Mexican fentanyl.  He's not the chief executive of a corrupt government in a poor, crime-ridden country.  He's Senor Rogers.

The Hyatt Regency Miami Hotel hosted "A Drag Queen Christmas" last December and now Florida wants to cancel its liquor license.  The Governissimo may have grabbed a bigger handful of pudding than he can swallow this time.  We're talking about the Hyatt, not Ed & Evie's B&B in St. Augustine.  I hope they hire Dominion Voting Machine's lawyers.

How would you like to work in this?  It's a Los Angeles high-rise called "(W)rapper" and Eric Owen Moss was paid actual money to design it.  He says he was inspired by Yeats's "The Second Coming" and it certainly suggests a rough beast slouching toward Hollywood to be born.  

Florida teachers will have to explain Rosa Parks to students without any reference to race or why she refused to give up her bus seat.  Wouldn't it make more sense to omit her altogether?  Have a lesson on Louisa May Alcott -- no, her father was a committed abolitionist.  All right, Abigail Adams -- no, she agitated for women to get the vote.  Anita Bryant, who's for Anita Bryant?

Tennessee is second to none when it comes to homophobia, so it's been pure fun to follow the antics of the Lieutenant Governor with the unimprovable porn name Randy McNally.  He was caught admiring

this young man on social media and says he's "really, really sorry."  He's also 79, the dirty old man.  I don't know whether this or Puddin'head Ron gave me a better laugh.  

If you think Child Catcher Putin is the great hope of Western Civ you're not alone:  Trump's back on Twitter with this horror movie/policy address.  It smells like Stephen Miller but the bad lighting and face like an old catcher's mitt are pure Donzo.  This must be what Kilmeade meant when he talked about how "disciplined" he is, no longer eating with Nazis and reading from the TelePrompter.  I'm worried about the clown makeup, though.  When Elizabeth I died it was said her white makeup was an inch thick.  That sounds like an exaggeration alluding to Hamlet ("let her paint an inch thick") but I'm sure it was solid.  Does Trump even wash his face anymore?

"An enormous clump of seaweed...is set to coat beaches in a spongy goop, bringing with it a pungent odor similar to rotting eggs."  I hope this helps those planning spring break.  Thoughts and prayers, Florida.