On a personal note

 It is still four days until Festivus, but I don't think anyone appreciates how hard I have to work to find important, relevant things to write about.  I look through the official press and this is what I'm given:

Xavier M. Babudar was arrested in Bixby, Oklahoma, for allegedly robbing the Tulsa Teachers Credit Union while dressed as a wolf.  Babudar, better known as ChiefsAholic for his devotion to the Kansas City Chiefs, usually attends games in costume, so he was surprisingly easy to recognize.  There is no picture of this mastermind dressed as a wolf.  

Kate Winslet says she was "fat-shamed" over her role in Titanic twenty-five years ago.  Unquestionably the pinnacle of white-people problems?

No, this is:  Boris Becker complains that he was "just a number" in the UK prison where he served eight months for bankruptcy-related crimes.  "They don't give a shit who you are."  Imagine.

Sarah Lloyd-Jones of Wales has pleaded guilty to manslaughter in the death of her daughter Kaylea Titford, by allowing her to become obese.  Kaylea was immobile due to spina bifida.  Her father goes on trial next year.  Evidently no physician was involved with this family.

Bluebell, a five-year-old Labrador mix, was supposed to travel with her people from London to Nashville, but British Airways flew her to Riyadh, Saudi Arabia, instead.  After sixty-three hours she finally arrived in Tennessee completely traumatized.  

Rep.-elect George Santos (R-NY) is already whining that he was "smeared" by the New York Times when they reported some of his more egregious lies.  He should fit right in, as he is already an election denier about his 2020 defeat.  

"At this time of year we're all thinking about the most important things in our lives:  our faith, our family," says Mike Pence.  He hopes the Justice Department won't indict Trump because -- it's Christmas!  Peace on earth, good will to seditious racist traitors.

What does Bob Dylan like to watch on television?  "I never watch anything foul-smelling or evil.  Nothing disgusting, nothing dog-ass."  He recently binged Coronation Street, Father Brown and early Twilight Zone.  So now we know that.

This is Mat Ishbia, who apparently is about to purchase the Phoenix Mercury and Phoenix Suns.  From J.P. Morgan to Aristotle Onassis to Elon Musk, why do rich men have such unfortunate faces?

A "bomb cyclone" is headed this way with life-threatening cold, bitter wind chills, power outages and major travel disruptions.  But at least we won't have to listen to local news idiots ask, "Will we have a white Christmas?"  The NWS office in Buffalo calls it "a once-in-a-generation storm system," which is good considering they just had one.  The Bills had to play a November 20 home game in Detroit.

Two steps forward, half a million steps back:  the Taliban released two "detained" Americans and kicked all women and girls out of universities in Afghanistan.

Beverly Roberts, 85, and Mary Alston, 61, were convicted of criminal trespass and disorderly conduct in Wetumpka, Alabama.  These two monsters trap stray and feral cats on public land, then feed them and have them neutered or spayed.  Their arrest required three police cars and handcuffs.  Alabama's long nightmare of crime is over.

But in Escambia, Florida, the struggle goes on.  A high school English teacher named Vicki Baggett wants 150 books removed from school libraries because they are pornographic (Slaughterhouse Five) or encourage "race-baiting."  In the second category she places When Wilma Rudolph Played Basketball, a life of the Olympic gold medalist for young children which traces her recovery from polio to become a track and field star.  Think how relevant it will be when Florida makes polio vaccine optional!  Any day now.