Nothing to see here

 

We could have seen it coming -- Arizona losers Kari Lake (governor), Mark Finchem (secretary of state) and Abe Hamadeh (attorney general) are contesting the results of the election.   First to elude his keepers and hit the Twitter "Fund me!" trail is Finchem, who's sure George Soros stole all the votes.  "Soros controls the press.  Soros controls Hobbs.  Soros controls the affiliates.  Soros controls the recorder.  Soros controls the County supervisors.  Soros controls the sheriff.  It is time we stand up to Soros and take back Arizona."  Soros must have been distracted by something when Republican Kimberly Yee won state treasurer.  It's a lot of skullduggery for a man of 92.

In Pennsylvania, loser Doug Mastriano is yelling at clouds, or rather chemtrails which suspiciously appear every day over his house, part of a plot (probably Soros again) to spray mind-controlling drugs from planes.  They won't get him, though.  He wears his lead-lined MAGA hat even in the shower.

If you go down in the woods of the Minnesota Fifth, you'd better go in disguise.  That's where Shukri Abdirahman lost to Ilhan Omar and she's had it with democracy.  "We can no longer get rid of tyranny with ballots," she tweeted.  "It's only by bullets now."  She was evidently set off by the scandal of the "Twitter files," internal memos from the pre-Musk era which led to the deletion of pictures of Hunter Biden's penis, in accordance with a policy forbidding revenge-porn.  This somehow caused Trump to lose the 2020 election and caused this Cormac McCarthy dystopia in which Democrats control the Senate.  

Some believe Abdirahman should be kicked off Twitter for advocating violence.  Poor fools.  That was the old Twitter.  Head Twit Elon Musk has no time for trivia just because Omar's life has been threatened over and over.  He's busy trying to coax Elton John back.  Close the door and leave him alone.  

Trump's call to tear up the Constitution was too much for one ex-courtier.  Former national security adviser John Bolton has purchased a white horse to go with his mustache and proposes riding to the rescue of the Republican Party unless he sees "Shermanesque statements from all the potential candidates."  Presumably he means "If nominated, I will not run; if elected, I will not serve."  Or maybe "If I had my choice I would kill every reporter in the world, but I am sure we would be getting reports from Hell before breakfast."  Another possibility:  "I intend to make Georgia howl."  Could he mean some other Sherman?  Mr. Peabody's boy?  The prospect of President Bolton has quite unsettled me.  He apparently picked up the Trumpian habit of assertion without facts -- he says "ninety-five percent of Republicans agree" that the Constitution is more important than Trump.  He doesn't say where they're hiding.  He also says they had a chance to swap Viktor Bouts for Paul Whelan in 2018 but didn't, "for very good reasons."

At Mar a Lago it was business as usual, with Trump continuing to conflate Israel with all Jews.  "How quickly Jewish Leaders forgot that I was the best, by far, President for Israel.  They should be ashamed of themselves.  This lack of loyalty to their greatest friends and allies is why large numbers in Congress...have stopped giving support to Israel."  And all the Republican Jewish Coalition, the Anti-Defamation League and Benjamin Netanyahu asked is that he condemn antisemitism even at the risk of losing Kanye's love.

After complaining of a bad cough and being harassed by the police for wearing a rainbow shirt, the American sportswriter Grant Wahl collapsed and died last night while covering a World Cup match.  Thousands of migrant workers have died since Qatar was awarded the tournament, one as recently as last week (brushed off by an official as "Death is a natural part of life").  This death at least will not be forgotten.