Comfort and joy

 

It's December and the election is finally over in Arizona, as Cochise County (an insult to the famed leader of the Chiricahua Apache) submitted to an order from Judge Casey McGinley and certified the votes.  Kari Lake promised to go to jail if she wasn't "installed" as governor.  Now she can go home.

I'm in the mood for more light-hearted news.  Let's see...

Did you know that Winnie the Pooh is banned in China because some people think he resembles Xi Jinping?  The more power they have, the thinner their skins.  Now the Japanese illustrator Kanahei has designed a series of products showing the bear frowning at a blank piece of paper, symbol of the anti-lockdown protests.  Disney can make bank on anything.  I don't know who is in charge of Xi's PR but Pooh would certainly make him more likeable.

Air travel has been bad for everyone this year but Delta went above and beyond in its mistreatment of a disabled passenger named Cory Lee.  His powered wheelchair was late in getting to the jet bridge and he asked to remain on the plane, only to be threatened by a flight attendant who said the TSA would remove him "at gunpoint" if he didn't use the wholly inadequate "aisle chair" they provided.  Mr. Lee is a blogger (my brother!) and he let all his readers know about goings-on at Hartsfield-Jackson.  At length and in detail.  Delta is "looking into it."  

Rachel Long of New Port Richey, Florida, makes an annual Chanukah presentation at her children's schools but this year she ran afoul of Governissimo DeSantis's Parents' Bill of Rights.  It says parents can object to "instructional materials based on their beliefs about morality, sex and religion."  None of those features in Ms. Long's presentation, which is non-religious and describes the history of the holiday, but Pasco County decided to be extra cautious.  "I assume no Christmas activities will be done?" she asked, receiving no response.  (The schools are already decorated for Christmas.)  Eventually they decided Chanukah was all right; still no decision on Kwanzaa or the Hindu festival Diwali.  The Some Parents' Bill of Rights is working splendidly.

This tweet from the people who will control the House and its Judiciary Committee next month probably needs context.

THEY'RE NAZIS.

Got that?

Sadly, Kanye's Twitter account was suspended after he posted a swastika inside a Star of David.  That followed an appearance on the Alex Jones Show with his new wingman Nick Fuentes.  Probably.  He wore a black facemask with no eyeholes and said things like "Every human being has value that they brought to the table, especially Hitler" and "We gotta stop dissing the Nazis all the time."  Even Jones tried to give him a way out but West kept up the praise, especially for the excellent electronics he thinks they invented.  As for Jews, he says they keep telling him to "love us and love what we're doing to you with the contracts, and you can love what we're pushing with the pornography," and then he did some prop comedy with a fish net and a bottle of Yoo-Hoo (net and yoo-hoo, get it?  he's the prime minister of Israel!) and Jones just let it go on.  Fuentes didn't say anything, having learned not to interrupt the master when he's rolling.  Jones summed up:  "I think most Jews are great people.  But I agree there's a Jewish mafia."

By the way, the above tweet from House Judiciary GOP has been deleted.  Last October they must have feared being prematurely anti-fascist.

As for Musk, he has already moved on to his next stunt, a company called Neuralink and a chip he wants to implant in human brains which will make the blind see, etc.  "We want to be extremely careful and certain it will work well before putting a device into a human," said the CEO of the company whose electric cars explode when wet and the social media platform that has apparently removed all bullshit filters.  Musk says he plans to get one of his own, without specifying the neurological problem he suffers from.  Let's guess.

If you live in the UK and have a Kanye tattoo you now regret, Naama Studios of London will remove it free (their slogan:  "Yeezy come, Yeezy go").  If you got a Chinese character you were assured means "courage" and a friend has informed you it really says "frog," that's going to cost you about two thousand quid.

In crime news, the Court of Appeals unanimously reversed Judge Aileen Cannon's appointment of a special master and said the Justice Department can proceed on the stolen top secret papers recovered from Mar a Lago.  Looks like all three were appointed by Trump.  Et tu, 11th Circuit Court of Appeals?  If he can delay until January, the Republicans have promised to hold hearings into the search warrant.  And into US Magistrate Judge Bruce Reinhart, who signed it.  And into the district judges in Florida who elected him.  And subpoena his grades from Penn Law School.  And if he's married...

In other crime news, an 82-year-old woman in Valley, Alabama, was arrested for failing to pay a trash removal bill of $77.80.  Jeff Bezos just gave Dolly Parton $100 million out of his $124 billion pile.  I think this lady needs it more.

In still more crime news, if you think crime is the worst problem in New York you probably don't live there, or you watch too much Fox News.  The city has posted a job listing for a "rat czar," someone "highly motivated and somewhat bloodthirsty" who can come up with a solution more effective than toxic soup and dry ice.  Salary ranges from $120,000 to $170,000, must provide own many-colored coat and flute.